“I have been selected as the best man for my close friend’s upcoming wedding; truth be told, I am incredibly nervous about the speech. How long is my time-frame for delivery, and what can I do to maintain good relations with the bride, groom and the entire room?”
There is a lot of pressure riding on the best man to deliver a fitting ode to the new union, so it is entirely natural to feel mildly tepid.
This toast is a central aspect of the wedding, and the entire communion is momentarily placed within one seemingly random fellow’s hands.
There are several rules to follow when crafting a brilliant speech, and this guide can demystify the contents of a perfect presentation to stave off overwhelming anxieties.
The toast should be rehearsed, but a mechanical monotone will not be appreciated; instead, improvisation should be expected, and the best man should base his remarks on the event itself. Creating a flexible outline allows for off-the-cuff exchanges, and this level of personable accord is crucial for connecting to the audience.
First off, it is wise to avoid hogging the spotlight. The attendees have other motives, including partying, drinking, dancing and romancing. A long speech will start to grate on the impatient crowd’s nerves, so plan on occupying no more than three minutes of their time.
This should provide plenty of opportunities to address every significant detail without rambling.
To stoke goodwill up front, start by offering sincere thanks to the bride’s family for funding the event. It can be savvy to drop jokes about unfamiliar faces and wedding crashers, but keep it kid friendly to avoid offending anyone’s sensibilities. Slowly segue into stories about meeting the groom, but keep this segment succinct.
Simply imply some level of rambunctious antics, and use this as a way to introduce the bride’s stabilizing influence. The groom will be expecting some level of gentle ribbing, but the best man should steer clear of any blatantly mean comments.
Be shrewd, not lewd. Subtle hints at naughtiness are sometimes appropriate, but keep it to an extreme minimum. Raunchy humor is best used as a misdirection to get people thinking dirtier thoughts than what was actually being said. This reverses the perception of adult humor to make the speaker appear tame by comparison with the audience’s lascivious reactions.
Keep chronological order in mind at all times. It may sound obvious, but many best man speeches falter because they do not begin with a beginning or end with an ending. An unorganized stream of consciousness will appear sloppy and lazy. Maintain active engagement by directly addressing members of the gathering.
The bulk of the speech should emphasize the magnificent union taking place. Do not underestimate the sentimental potency this singular talk can have. For better or for worse, it will be remembered by every attentive attendee. It is especially wise for a best man to filter himself out towards the end of his remarks. Fading away from the attention proffers accolades to be sent to the bride and groom, which is where they belong. Counter-intuitively, a best man’s speech is about anything but the best man.
A solid conclusion must bolster the toast. A grand first impression will be meaningless if the final words flop. Join in the laughter and applause, and consistently maintain objective humility. Accentuate clever wit with striking brevity. Encourage a heartfelt party with the last raising of the glass. Dedicate the remarks to their beautiful union.
As a side note, it is incredibly wise to avoid consuming alcohol before delivering the toast. The first taste of liquor for the best man should be during his introductory statement, which must laud praise on the celebration’s attendance. Abstaining from intoxication beforehand can make riddle the after-party with raucous relief.
This venue could easily be abused by the wrong patron. To avoid damaging any relationships, stay away from any mentions of private information. An unfortunately common occurrence at weddings involves the best man unleashing a cavalcade of classified content. Do not infringe upon the couple’s trust. Keep private instances secret, and exemplify easily observable characteristics. It is smart to avoid digging up unsavory stories from the histories of the bride or groom. Trademark behaviors can be poked fun at, but leave humiliating anecdotes behind.
Also, impressing the bridesmaids should never be more than an afterthought. If a best man proves himself to be a cunning linguist during his speech, the single ladies will naturally flock to him. This is an inherent reward for the job, so do the work well and enjoy!
Make sure to treat every member in the room with the utmost level of respect. Appeasing a wide variety of folks can be difficult at first, but a sly social observer can forcefully connect with the collective mood of the wedding.