Often men will find themselves pondering the question, where do I take a woman on a first date? The first things that might pop up in our minds, or perhaps on our computers when we are looking for advice and first date tips for men, are restaurants or movies. Both of which are hassles, uncomfortable and above all, they fail to create the moment she’s looking for. Consider this, how many men in the past have taken her to these two places, and chances are it’s going to be almost all of them. Women are looking for a guy that takes them on an adventure, one that could be made into a movie, or one that creates “the moment”.
Neither you nor her want to sit through a movie in silence and then come out of the theater looking for a conversation starter. It’s uncomfortable, yet in the same regard so is having your first date at a restaurant. You sit there for a few hours talking, exchanging resumes, chewing down some food, and you’re left with a bill for the night. However the money spent brings us to our next point in finding the best place for a first date, which is don’t spend all your money right from the start.
While you might be thinking taking her to a nice restaurant equates to how much you’d value her, it really doesn’t. The reality is most first dates never turn into second dates, so stop planning so far ahead of things. Remember you are in control of where your money goes and you determine who you spend it on. Thus it should be treated like an investment, so spend it wisely when women come into your life.
1/ Simple Tips And The Best First Date Ideas For Men
Now that we have thrown restaurants and the movies out of the picture, what are some fun activity dates and ideas that remove pressure from the situation? Ones that create the moment of course, however before you randomly pick an idea and call it day, take some consideration into her personality and what she likes.
Perhaps she’s hinted she’s a huge wine fanatic and paints in her free time, wouldn’t it make more sense to take her to an art gallery, than to just go bowling? Tailor the date to her because remember, every woman is different, and each date you go on will be an individually unique experience.
Keep in mind while going on a date with her might give you an idea of what the future might look like, it doesn’t show what the experience will be like. No man wants to continually play the nice guy role with every single date the go on. Not to mention your pocket book won’t be happy if you’re constantly covering the cost of dinner.
Stick with active dates and skip the easy, repetitive questions she’s been asked a million times before, such as where she works. Focus on developing positive emotions, and most importantly put your energy towards creating a moment she will remember. Do something different, stop being so serious, and by all means make sure you are having fun.
2/ Be Open Minded To Fun Possibilities And New First Date Plans
Let’s face it; nothing ever goes as according to the original plan. If you’re picked one of those great date ideas from our list, you still may run into a snag. Perhaps you took her to grab ice cream at a local place and you later find out she’s lactose intolerant. Now if you had planned the date out with every detail in mind possible covered, you wouldn’t know how to deal with this the new situation. Yet what we’re getting at is that you always should plan out the fun aspect, but also be flexible, and leave plenty of room to be creative when the time comes.
As a man you are the leader, it’s what women want, and if you haven’t had a chance to discover why this is the way it is, read our guide on How To Be Powerful Man. When these situations happen, you’re expected to handle it with confidence, and at the same time, with an open mind. So be open to new possibilities, and if you’re looking for the next idea on where to go or what to do, base it on what you’ve learned from her so far.
Things like the conversations you both have had with her, the situation, and the interaction will give you the answer. Don’t look for easy ways out, such as bluntly asking her what she thinks you both should do. Instead show her you are thoughtful and considerate, and are putting in your best effort to make the night a special one.
3/ Advice On How To Be Present And Avoid Expectations
So you have the date planned out but that’s not the only thing you’re planning out in your mind. Most men will plan out the future and start thinking about when to kiss her, if she’s the women they will marry, and so on. They will build a strategy and try to envision how the night should go, plus consider all the things they should and shouldn’t say while on the date.
When you do this you aren’t being in the present, instead you’re so focused on the future you literally plan to fail. Those types of situations don’t make dates fun, instead you’re tense, not relaxed, and worried. So stop being so hard on yourself and avoid the thought of any expectations.
Remember you wouldn’t plan out an entire conversation when you go out with your group of friends, so why would do that when going on a date? Instead you’re present and focused on simply having a good and positive time.
4/ First Date Etiquette For Acting Like A Gentleman
We could start this section off by talking about all the things you should do on a first date, like dressing nicely, opening her car door, etc but we won’t. Every man one way or another knows he needs to put his best foot forward. And to be honest handling the first date is quite simple; you just talk, be yourself and listen to her. It’s all about staying positive, upbeat, and talking about the good times and things in your life.
Yet there is one thing we want to cover and it’s about why you shouldn’t drink when you’re on the first date. Now you might be thinking why not? Drinking will loosen her up a little bit, and make it easier for you to get her drunk and back to your place. But there’s one slight problem that arises from this, as we can’t forget you’ll also be drinking too. So while you might become incredibly confident at smooth talking, you’ll soon find yourself talking about your finances, your ex, or some story about when your relative was growing up. She doesn’t want to be the ear that listens to those types of things, nor do you want to have that kind of negative perception. And chances are since your reading this; you’re trying to figure out how to make a good impression on a first date in the first place.
Now you’re probably wondering why it would matter, as chances are both of us will forget it the next day. That is the exact reason. Consider this, the next day you are going to wake up trying to recreate the date, and you’ll start worrying about what went wrong. You’re going to talk to her over the phone and that drunken feeling that you both shared together will be lost. You’ll start wondering about how she felt while on the date, but you won’t be able to answer that since you’re no longer drunk. And in return you’re going to start pondering the thought of why she never called you back, or wasn’t interested in going out again.
However with that said, we don’t mean you shouldn’t drink at all. In fact wine tasting can actually make a great date night, assuming both of you are wine fanatics. And if you prefer drinking a well-crafted microbrew then there’s nothing wrong with that as well. All we’re saying is keep it within moderation, and if possible stay sober. Yet we all know where the line is, from being drunk and casually drinking, so just avoid crossing it on the first date.
5/ Be Creative When Planning Your Second Date
If you followed our advice on your first date, it was simple, active and fun. You’ll also have learned more about her on he first date, and now have an understanding of her likes and dislikes. However to plan the second date, and it requires getting a bit creative in the mean time. Think about your conversations and perhaps you’ll remember when she told you. Maybe it was that she hasn’t gone mini golfing in a long time, or absolutely loves going to wine tasting events. In return you’ll want to plan the second date with something related to your conversation with her.
When you put some thought into your dates, you’ll start building momentum; not to mention crate memories. Continue repeating this process with the third, fourth and future dates, and you’ll both be able to glance back at a meaningful memory. You’ll remember how amazing of a time you had during the first few months you dated, and so will she. Plus you’ll both have something which you share together, which will only bring her closer to you.
6/ Why She’s Not Interested After You Sleep With Her
You went out on a few dates with her, perhaps it’s the second or third date, and at the end of one of the night she finally slept with you. It may not have been her true intention in the beginning, however you both had fun and it just happened. And while you might be thinking this is the start to a regular routine, she’s thinking of something in the opposite manner, called “women’s guilt”. Why? Because every man knows she’s going to consult her friends and gab about what happened that night. Her friends are going to explain to her that it happened too fast, thus the guilt comes along. Plus now she’s going to assume you won’t take her seriously in the relationships anymore, and she’ll ditch you if you’re stuck in a sexual mode like most guys.
So what is being in a sexual mode and how do you avoid making this mistake? For starters, consider that once it happens, most men will directly be comfortable talking about it with her. They’ll think about doing it over and over without any of the build up that comes along within. She’s going to be driven to fear that all you really care about is just doing it. And while most men will call or text the next day to assure her they aren’t, it doesn’t exactly work.
Yes, following up is important and gentleman-like, but it has to be done the right way. To make this work text or call her by the end of the same day. Don’t wait two or three days like most men, because all you’re doing is heightening her fears even more so. Not to mention, there’s also the aspect of saying the right things, so what do you tell her?
Don’t spend the entire phone call talking about how fantastic sleeping with her was, instead focus on telling her how great it was to spend time with her in the morning. Or how you loved letting her sleep over. Continue to follow up by talking about something fun you want to do with her, such as taking her to eat dinner at a place she’s wanted to try. Or perhaps going to a concert with a band she listens to, but has never had the chance to see live. Yet whichever plan you go with, just make sure you do one thing if you want to be successful, take her out again soon.
7/ How To Recover From A Bad First Date
You went out on the first date or maybe a couple of dates with her, you had fun, and thought that the two of you really clicked together, however perhaps she didn’t see it quite the same way. Now you’re wondering what happened, or if it was something you said, or if you didn’t do that thing you should have. You’ll consult with your guy friends explaining the situation, and hope they have the answer to why she wasn’t interested.
Chances are if you’re like most men you’ll keep on bringing it up until you’ve driven your friends crazy. But our guy friends don’t know her, they weren’t there on every date, they’ll never have the answer to what went wrong. In reality the only thing you are doing wrong is reflecting on little things that don’t even matter.
Stop reliving the past memories and events wondering if small things are the reason for why she’s not interested in going out with you anymore. We can tell you for certain it’s not because you didn’t say the right thing, or didn’t respond the right way. It’s actually a handful of things like your energy, chemistry, attraction, etc. Let’s face it, there’s not really anything you could have done to save yourself in any situation with her. Consider this, perhaps she was going through things certain in her life and wasn’t comfortable dating at the moment. Maybe even you had things going on your life that distracted you unknowingly as well. Or most notably there’s always the fact that maybe there was no chemistry between you two.
Stop worrying and don’t let it bother you, because life always has its ups and downs. Spend your time doing positive and good things, and avoid wasting it on reflections of the small things. Those small problems that you worry about don’t mater, and if you let them take over all their going to do is get in the way of the big picture. Just remember every woman, every date, and every moment will be different, and you can’t win at them all right away.
Take a second to step back, and read our article on How To Make Impressions By Treating Life Like A Stock Portfolio. You’ll realize that every woman you meet is like a lead, perhaps she wasn’t interested today, but maybe she’ll pay off in the future. So be a gentleman and treat her with respect regardless of the outcome, because you never know what’s going to happen down the road.