Every single relationship is different. There’s not a single guide in this world that can magically help you get your ex back, mine included. I wasn’t watching every moment of your entire relationship, neither was anyone else.
Only you know the answers as to what went wrong.
It’s the cold hard truth, and being a man means being able to accept that.
Even your guy friends, regardless of how close to you they are, can’t help you there.
Talk to them for hours if you wish, they will never be the woman you dated.
In reality, if you want your ex back it’s going to require one thing: Communication. It’s what helps both men and woman understand what they failed to change about themselves or their habits.
Just like all relationships we have to make sacrifices from time to time, some of which we aren’t able to realize at first. The truth is, even the smallest of habits we see as no big deal, such as leaving a toilet seat down can drive a woman to want to run out the door. She might not speak up about it, however, perhaps she still feels strongly about it. Remember, not every single thing is going to be crystal clear, let alone make sense to us.
Sure, things like having an affair are more apparent once out in the open too. However, let’s face it, people break up for a wide range of reasons. If you can’t figure out why, you need to ask her. Not your brother, mother, friends, co-workers, etc.
Now, before you get set on getting your ex girlfriend back, stop for a second here first and clear your mind. There are a handful of truly important things all men need to consider.
Ending a relationship does more than just separate two people apart from each other.
A great deal of men fall right into the trap of trying everything to get their ex back. Within time it starts sinking in; this was a terrible decision to make.
Well for starters, after any break up the brain starts pumping itself full of emotional distress signals. SOS it shouts! Sure, she might be crazy, abusive or disrespectful however, date anyone romantically long enough and brain will start craving them. Regardless of the history and what you know to be true, something no man can argue with is science.
Consider the study by the Journal of Neurophysiology. In the experimentation results concluded that the same part of the brain gets activated by romantic rejection as it does with cocaine withdrawals. In another study this time by Stone Brook University researchers, they put fifteen brokenhearted males to the test.
In this study gentlemen were shown photos of their ex while trying to complete a simple mathematical equation. They did this over and over again until the photo of the ex girlfriend was switched with someone they knew but were not intimate with. The results? Yet again, the same areas of the brain as cocaine addicts in stages of physical withdrawal pain, skyrocketed in activity.
What does this all mean? It means getting over your ex girlfriend is a lot like getting over a drug habit. You’re going to have to deal mental distress, not to mention, cravings of her while you recover. And just like both of these situations, just about the only thing a man can do is let time run its course.
But the sex after breaking up was great.
We totally re-connected through intimacy, yada yada… I’ve heard it all.
Does it really come as any surprise? You literally just satisfied that emotional craving above. Of course, your brain is now getting pumped with the hormone Oxytocin too. Remember, more than often sex isn’t going to solve the root of your past problems. If anything, it’s simply going to mask any mistakes of the present moment. Afterwards you might end up further confusing your situation and ending even more disheartened. This newly sparked flame of romance can easily end up dwindling down just like it did in the past.
Don’t let the heat of the moment fool you.
But we’re trying to work things out.
Remember, it’s easy to start thinking backwards in time, even with a clean start. Both men and women can go right back into story mode, and overlook the newly changed person in front of them. In order to move forward and rekindle your relationship it truly requires letting go of the past and living in the present. Far easier said than done. It’s like meeting someone for the first time, all over again.
While there’s nothing wrong with working things out, be prepared to accept the reality if they haven’t changed. Over time you might end up realizing they haven’t grown or changed and things aren’t going to work out.
Consider moving forward
A real gentleman accepts his past, learns from his mistakes and moves on.
Don’t dwell on nor rehash every part of your failed relationship in the back of your mind. Obsessing over the “what ifs” won’t magically solve your situation. Even the greatest business magnates of all time know not to waste time on things they cannot change. The truth is, sometimes we have to fail in bad relationships in order to succeed. Every relationship whether good or bad helps us grow as better men. In other words, leave the past in the past.
If it is the right decision: Cut all ties if you can’t bear the thought of being friends. Apologize for the mistakes you made. Carry on with a fresh start. There will always be women out there looking for the man of their dreams, aka you. Don’t let the fear of starting over fool you into making the wrong decision for the best interest of yourself.
While it’s easy to strongly desire your ex girlfriend back after a break, without question, one of the best things you can do is to let time pass before jumping to conclusions. Remember, rekindling an old relationship isn’t always the going to be right answer. More than often it ends up miserably. I’ve been there too.
There comes a point in time when your ex girlfriend will simply become just another distant memory. With every woman you date over the years this point will become clearer and clearer. Soon you forget about all her, and come to terms with all changes you can make to keep growing yourself.
I still remember a break up from a long relationship I had back in high school. Disappointed by how it turned out, I asked my father for some advice. He words were simple, “Give it time”. And you know what, he was right.
Those three words have held true even to this day.
They’ll work for you too.