Why do men always feel like dating manuals, pick up lines and scripts are good solutions to picking up and starting conversations with women? It’s the easy solution, but one that never allows us to just be in the moment of things. We all know the moments when we start with any of those openers, that women aren’t interested in the conversation to begin with. It’s not because she’s not genuinely interested or giving you one word answers, but it’s because you’re not being real. Women aren’t looking for openers, their looking for men that are strong, powerful, and confident about every word they speak. Things like the tonality of your voice, the way you convey each word you speak, and your ability to listen are what develops a real connection.
Pick up lines and dating manuals don’t teach you how to be in the moment or make observations, nor do they teach you to listen. By following these things you’ll start looking for things that don’t even matter, like non verbal clues. You’ve probably found yourself questioning things like: Did her flipping her hair mean actually something? She raised her left heel, does that mean she’s attracted to me? And then it goes on and one even to smaller things like she scratching her does, all of which builds your anxiety and the amount questions you have. But here is the deal guys, it doesn’t matter, stop focusing on things that prevent you from listening to her. Instead follow these first date tips for men, because when you listen to her, she’ll close herself.
So how do you pick up things to say, or even make the approach for that matter? Well for starters it’s not about trying to be funny or even clever; instead it’s about being aware of your surroundings. The best way to connect with women is simply just to say what’s on your mind. By making observations you’ll never have a reason for why you can’t approach any woman. For a moment take in what she’s wearing, it could be her watch, some interesting shoes, and even what she orders at the deli. Process it in your mind first, and then proceed to ask her questions and let her talk. By listening to her after asking each question, you’ll be gathering more information for things to talk about. The key to communication is simply listening, and we all know women will tend to keep talking our ear off, and carry the conversation. However when first making the approach, you want to always make sure you are always selling yourself in everything you say. Remember if you’re not having fun, or if you don’t have enthusiasm you’re simply chasing women.
Yet before you can be a master at observation you will need to practice. Remember confidence is important, however without knowing what to say or how to be in the moment, you won’t be able to start the conversation. I say this because a lot of guys assume that confidence is everything and the key to attracting women. However let’s look at it this way. It does not matter how many women you’ve slept with or how experienced you are in bed, because that’s not going to help you with mastering observation. It doesn’t equate to skill or expertise when picking up women, if anything it might help build that initial push to talk to her in the first place. But then what happens when you have nothing to say from the start?
Here’s what you need to do. Starting today, go out for one week straight and practice observation. Do not talk to a single woman; instead observe your surroundings, including everything from women, men, children, dogs or whatever. Walk around and keep everything inside a journal, and write down everything you see or observe. Next write down everything you could have said if you were making an approach. If you see a woman wearing a bright purple hat that’s walking in the park, write that down. You’ll train your mind into picking up everything around you. And you’ll realize that everything you wrote down you could have said, and been one hundred percent right to say, if you had just done it in the first place. You will never be wrong, unless you are a total creep, but let’s face it; in reality most men are authentically admirable guys, meaning whatever you say will be right every time. What you are doing is building that foundation, being a confident guy and being the moment, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. So instead of having to rely on things that don’t work like, “who cheats more, men or women?” you’ll actually come up with clever and intriguing things she’ll be interested in. Because women don’t care who cares more or less, they don’t have time for that, they’re too busy thinking about other things. However, when you’re in the moment and you learn to observe and listen, she’s going to be genuinely attracted to talk more.