17 First Date Tips To Transform Your Love Life
So you’ve scored a date, congratulations! You’ve put yourself out there and have been rewarded. You feel on top of the world for a moment, but then the reality of going on the date starts to sink in and you begin to question all you’ve ever known about dating.
The first date shouldn’t fill you with dread. But with all the pressure we put on ourselves for a positive outcome, it’s easier said than done.
The reality is no two dates are going to be the same, so forget everything you think you know. Wipe the slate clean and get ready for a new chance at love. Once you’ve done this, you’re now ready to learn our best tips and tricks to transform your love life.
Remember, a successful first date isn’t entirely down to securing another one, it’s about having a good time and enjoying each other’s company.
1. Choose a Relaxing Location
The location of your first date plays a big part in whether they’ll be a second one. Choose a quiet, relaxed setting where you can both hear each other and be comfortable enough to be yourself. You don’t want to be shouting intimate details in a crowd that suddenly goes silent – this doesn’t just happen in movies, trust me.
You’ll be able to tell if your date is uncomfortable, but if the location isn’t relaxing there’s no telling whether it’s down to you or the setting you’re in. Putting in the work pre-date to find out what they like to do can help you find a common interest and create a closer bond by doing it together in a familiar environment.
2. Keep Things Casual
Whilst it can be tempting to pull out all the stops on the first date, it puts pressure on you both for there to be a romantic connection which can be seriously awkward if you don’t feel one. Keeping things casual will give you a chance to naturally discover whether there’s a genuine spark or not.
It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment and think there’s more between you than there actually is. Putting almost anyone in a romantic setting can make them seem more appealing. If you’re after more than just physical attraction, get to know your date in an everyday situation that you’ll often find yourself in.
3. Make It a Two-Way Conversation
Whether you want to see them again at the end of the first date or not, you’ve both mutually agreed to spend time getting to know each other. So give it your best shot and make the most of it.
By not asking questions you could be self-sabotaging as you’ll never know just how much you could have in common. There’s nothing wrong with talking about yourself, but it’s important to know when to stop.
A relationship should be give and take, but if you’re all about yourself on day one, it’s a narcissistic red flag.
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4. Keep your hands to yourself
If you’re one for physical affection and you’re both crushing hard, it’s not easy to find a reason why you should keep your hands to yourself. Touching someone shows you’re super into them, right? Wrong! This could actually do more harm than good.
Giving away affection so easily is more likely to show this as a first-date protocol of yours, rather than how you feel about them. Keep touching limited to gentlemanly gestures such as helping them into their seat or guiding them through a crowd. Nobody likes a creep.
5. Be Present in the Moment
The more present you are, the more you’ll both enjoy it. It’s that simple. Taking time to wind down and clear your head before a first date can go a long way. It’s a fresh start to get to know someone new and you don’t want to ruin your chances by stressing out about what happened at work yesterday.
It’ll come across as preoccupied and uninterested. If it has absolutely nothing to do with your date, don’t let them think that it does.
6. Dress To impress
As much as we don’t like to judge on appearance, it’s the initial first impression we subconsciously make. You want to put your best self forward for a first date and this includes how you dress.
Brush up on your grooming and put on your best smart casual outfit. Whilst you want to look good, you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. Make sure it’s something you’re comfortable in and not the first time you break in your new loafers as you won’t be impressing anyone with painful blisters.
7. Don’t Get Shitfaced
You’ve heard of the three-date rule, but have you heard of the three-drink rule? Three is quite literally the lucky number when dating and having more than this changes the vibe from sophisticated drinks with a date to a piss-up with your pals.
If your date isn’t drinking and you don’t want your first date to be your last, quit while you’re ahead and call it at one. Always ask if they’d like to get another round before you order another drink as no one wants to be drinking alone.
8. Check Your Body Language
Be mindful of your body language because it can speak louder than words. You could be saying one thing, but your body language could be saying another.
Your first date might make you feel so comfortable you lean back in your seat, but it’s also recognized as the position of feeling disconnected. Get comfortable with leaning into your date and maintain eye contact to show you’re engaged, but don’t forget to blink or you’ll go from interested to creepy real quick.
If someone likes you, they’ll subconsciously mirror your actions. Being aware of your body language can help you figure out whether they’re into you by subtly changing your posture and see if they follow shortly after. Avoid using crossed arms as part of the test as it creates a barrier between you both, which they could pick up on and take a step back.
9. Don’t Be Cheap – Offer To Pay
If you were the one to ask your date out, you should be willing to pay. It becomes your responsibility to take the lead and show them a good time. It’s more than just chivalry as it also sends a message of your intentions for a romantic connection.
If you’re keeping it casual as we recommended, your first date might be an activity they also do with their friends. This could make it unclear whether it’s a date or a catch-up, especially if you previously had a friendship. By offering or insisting to pay, you will signal you want to take it to the next level and get out of the friend zone.
10. Don’t Mention Your Ex
Mentioning your ex unprompted can make it seem you’re still not over them. As harmless as this can be, your date isn’t likely to think so. Play it safe and don’t give your ex the satisfaction of ruining another shot at love, unless they ask.
The first date conversation almost always involves asking when your last relationship was and why it ended. Politely answer and move on. Don’t go overboard on the details but be truthful in case the reason you split with your ex is a deal-breaker for you or your date – an immediate time-saver.
11. Be Confident, Not Arrogant
If you’re wanting to secure a second date you have to sell yourself, but oversell yourself and you’ve crossed the fine line into arrogance. Confidence is walking into a room and not comparing yourself to anyone else, whereas arrogance is thinking you’re better than everyone else in there.
Talk about what you love about yourself, but not in relation to anyone else, and let your confidence do the rest.
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12. Turn Up on Time
First impressions count. You’ll only ever get one and turning up late will be hard to make up for, if your date still waits around for you that is. It’s plain bad manners. Time is something we can never get back and one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. Being late not only wastes their time, but it also shows you don’t value it.
Even if we do everything in our power to be on time, we can still be hit with the unexpected. Be respectful and let your date know as soon as possible if it means you’ll be late. This way you can save them the thought of being stood up and avoid resentment towards you when you do finally show up.
13. Leave the Flowers at Home
Whilst this can seem like a good idea, it’s an outdated tradition with no place in the modern world of first dates. It’s now the grand gesture for not so subtlety saying, “please like me.”
Desperation is a huge turn-off. Save it for another date where you know the feeling’s mutual and you can bring their favorite flowers to make more of an impact than the generic red roses.
14. Put Your Phone on Airplane Mode
Getting your phone out on a first date is a hard no unless you want them to text you goodbye on their way out – equally rude but you’d deserve it. No one wants to be with someone incapable of being without their phone for a few hours – whatever’s going on in the group chat can wait.
Do you really want to ruin a good thing for an average meme that you’ve almost definitely seen already? Once you take out your phone there’s no going back as your date is likely to feel uncomfortable waiting and get theirs out too. Suddenly, you’re both on your phones – a major mood killer.
15. Show Up With No Expectations
It’s easy to get worked up over a date, especially if it isn’t the first time you’ve met and you already know you like them. The secret to enjoying the first date is to go in with no expectations whatsoever.
You can sweat yourself out of a clean shirt whilst getting ready as many times as you want thinking what will happen and whether they’ll like you back, but it won’t change the outcome. Switch your focus onto something you can control and hope for the best, but never expect it to avoid disappointment.
16. Leave Bad Dates in the Past
If you haven’t got a flawless track record, no one else has to know. Every date is a new date and living in the past can affect your present, but you shouldn’t write it off thinking about previous dates altogether. Looking at them from a productive point of view can help you figure out what worked well for you, and what didn’t to avoid making the same mistakes again.
Dating doesn’t just allow you to get to know someone else, but it also teaches us about ourselves. A bad date isn’t as bad as you think if you learned something. Even if it’s what you don’t want in a partner, you’re one step closer to finding them.
17. Above All, Be Yourself
If you’re after a genuine connection, you need to be straight up from the start. Pretending to be someone else can only get you so far. You deserve to be with someone who likes you for you. No first date is worth giving up who you truly are and what you believe in.
Before the date, we recommend familiarizing yourself with everything you want in a partner as it can be easy to let these ideals slip away if you really like the person in front of you. Having them at the forefront of your brain will help you figure out whether they’re the one for you, or if you’re having to compromise too much on the first date already.
