Top Questions for Couples to Deepen Your Connection

When you’re in a fully committed relationship with someone, it’s often a never-ending learning experience that has its ups and downs. Regardless of if you’re a new couple or a couple that has been together for years, there are still things you have yet to learn about one another. 

You may think you know every quirk, truth, and facet of each other, but you’d be surprised and possibly shocked by how much you don’t know. Even after spending years with someone, you can still discover red flags you may have missed or that there are ideals you don’t see eye to eye on. 

Many of these things, if not addressed early on, can make or break a relationship. It’s crucial to ask each other questions that matter. You don’t want to walk down the aisle or live an entire lifetime with a partner who has a fundamentally different vision of what the future will hold for the both of you. 

That’s why we’ve put together this extensive list featuring 101 of the best questions for couples to ask one another. Some of the questions might make you laugh, others could improve your communication standing, and some may alert you to issues you might not have been aware of. Best of all, this list will initiate an opportunity for you and your partner to delve into each other’s psyches and learn more about one another.

The Best Relationship and Romance Questions To Ask Your Partner

Knowing where your partner stands when it comes to romance and your relationship is essential. Often romance questions can be a sensitive topic to broach, so you should always be mindful of your partner’s feelings. Your main goal by answering these questions should be to build a stronger relationship that’s healthier with better communication.

1. Can you recall the specific moment in time when you knew that you loved me?

2. Can you tell me the last time that I made you feel appreciated?

3. Is there anything about my body or personality that you would want to change if you could?

4. What are your fantasies that you haven’t told me about?

5. Do you hope that getting married will change a few of my behaviors?

6. Does my moodiness cause problems in our relationship? 

7. What actions do I do that make you feel loved in our relationship?

8. If you’re sad or angry, do you want to talk to me about what makes you feel these emotions, or would you rather I give you space?

9. Can you tell me something that you admire about my personality?

10. What significant other had a big impact on your life before you met me?

11. What do you think is our greatest strength as a couple, and what do you think is our greatest weakness?

12. Do you think it’s important for individuals in a relationship to maintain their own identities?

13. Do you have any suggestions surrounding what we could do as a couple that can bring us closer?

14. How do you view your love life, and is there anything you would suggest we try out to strengthen it?

15. Do you ever feel like I never listen to you or always talk over you?

16. Why are you unwilling to share your thoughts or emotions with me?

17. Why do you find it difficult to let go of past hurts that have occurred during our relationship?

18. Is there something that I have done that has allowed you to learn something new about yourself?

19. Can you tell me what your most important moral value is?

20. What could I do in our relationship that you would consider unforgivable?

21. Have you learned any relationship lessons since we have been a couple, and If so, what were the lessons you learned?

22. What is your honest definition of romance?

23. Are there any physical or emotional gestures that you find particularly comforting?

24. What are the main points that you believe make a relationship stand the test of time?

25. Do you think you’ll want to have children, and if so, how many do you want to have?

26. Should we plan a romantic getaway together?

27. Do you think we are compatible in the long run?

28. Is there anything you are curious to learn about me?

29. How many times have you truly been in love, and are you in love with me?

30. What are the things about me that make you know that I am the one meant for you?

The Best Questions To Ask Your Partner About Dreams and the Future

The future should always appear bright when you are in a relationship. That’s why it’s crucial to ask your partner questions about their dreams and the future, as it can demonstrate if you have one together. You don’t want to only identify years down the line that you have no common dreams or vision of how your lives should be when you grow old together. 

31. How do you see our individual and collective futures playing out?

32. What goals do you think we as a couple should have?

33. Can you tell me somewhere that you have always wanted to travel?

34. If you could immediately move to any country in the world and live there permanently, where would it be?

35. Do you think we will ever truly resolve our more persistent relationship problems in the future?

36. As a couple, what do you want us to accomplish within the next five years?

37. What do you want us to do together in the future that we haven’t managed to do yet?

38. Can you tell me what you are hoping to learn in the year that lies ahead?

39. Do you have a bucket list, and if so, can you tell me the top five things on it?

40. Where in the world do you consider to be your dream vacation?

41. When you have children, what values do you want to teach them that you feel are the most important?

42. What is your definition of a dream profession?

43. What can you see yourself doing after you enter into retirement?

44. If you could choose any type of career to be involved in, what job would you choose?

45. When you were a teenager, did you ever have a specific career path that you wanted to undertake?

46. If you had unlimited money, what would you do with your time?

47. What is something that you have always wanted to learn how to do?

48. Are you happy with where we live now, or is there somewhere you believe we should move to where we would be more comfortable?

49. What are your thoughts on couples who are married but live separately?

50. If you had two million dollars, what is the first thing you would buy and why?

51. If you could see into the near future, what would you look to find out?

The Best Deeply Personal Questions To Ask Your Partner

Sometimes it’s best to get the deeply personal questions out of the way when you’re a new couple, as you might not like the answers you receive. Additionally, suppose you’ve been with your partner for many years. In that case, it’s an excellent idea to ask deeply personal questions to identify if their viewpoints have slightly altered or completely changed. 

52. If you were able to change one significant decision in your life, what would you change?

53. What is the absolute most terrible thing that has ever happened to you that you haven’t yet told me?

54. Do you have any big regrets from when you were younger that you haven’t told me?

55. Do you believe in god, and if not, what do you believe in?

56. Can you tell me what you deem to be the best life advice you have ever received?

57. Do you think our relationship has affected your spirituality?

58. What are your political views?

59. Can you tell me what role affection and love play outside of our relationship?

60. Have you ever told a lie solely to manipulate someone else?

61. When you have to make an important life decision, do you let logic or your heart decide?

62. Can you tell me what the most challenging year of your life was?

63. Do you think we are placed on earth to help others?

64. Do you think love, money, or sex keep a couple together? 

65. What is more important to you: Financial or emotional security?

66. Do you think spouses should care about each other more than their children?

67. Were you raised with any controversial beliefs that you now refute or reject?

68. Would you be able to take me off life support if a medical professional advised it was the best course of action?

69. If you could solve only one of the world’s biggest problems, which would it be?

70. What do you believe helped to shape your current political views?

71. Do you wholeheartedly trust me?

72. Do you undoubtedly love me?

73. Are there any conflicts in your past that you feel haven’t been fully resolved?

74. Can you tell me the last time you cried or expressed your emotions?

75. In your opinion, what does a balanced relationship look like?

76. In your life right now, what are you most grateful for?

77. When you were much younger, who did you admire the most?

78. How well do you think we communicate with one another?

79. What do you believe is the hardest thing about being in a relationship?

80. Can you tell me what you believe your role to be in our relationship?

81. How important do you think oral sex is in a relationship?

The Best Questions To Ask Your Partner About Their Childhood and Family

When you’re trying to understand why your partner is the way they are, it usually stems from how they grew up. Asking your partner questions about their childhood and family can help you understand what circumstances made them the person they are today. 

82. Did you ever want fewer or more siblings growing up?

83. Do you think your siblings had any input in shaping the person you have become?

84. Do you have a healthy relationship with your parents?

85. Who would you say you are the closest to in your family: Your mother or your father?

86. Can you tell me something that your parents did to you when you were younger that embarrassed you?

87. In your opinion, what would you consider the best and worst traits you inherited from your parents?

88. Did a family member ever make a particular comment that has stuck with you throughout your life?

89. Did any of your childhood habits carry over into your adult life?

90. Would you say your family is normal or abnormal?

91. Who would you say you take after the most in your family?

92. Can you tell me in what ways do you want to be different from your parents?

93. Did you get into many fights when you were younger?

94. Who did you dislike in your family when you were growing up?

95. Do you think your childhood left you with emotional trauma?

96. Would you want to change your family if you could?

97. Are there any memories that you made during childhood that you wish you could forget?

98. What is your all-time favorite memory from growing up?

99. Do you feel your family takes our relationship seriously?

100. Can you tell me what you learned about marriage from your parents?

101. What did you learn about physical and emotional affection from your parent’s relationship?