Why Is Dating So Difficult for Guys? An In Depth Look
In this article, we’re tackling one of the biggest questions that you might be wondering about the world of dating – why is it so hard? While this is certainly a loaded question and one that has many different answers, there are a few things we can definitely point to, and there are also ways you can make this difficult topic a bit easier on yourself. In this article, we’re helping you navigate the tricky world of dating!
Dating These Days
There’s no question that dating nowadays is different than ever before. With all the advancements in technology and all the different ways to communicate with each other these days, it can all get a bit overwhelming. From texting to email to all the various social media apps (not to mention all the online dating apps!), it can seem like too much to keep track of.
This has led some to believe that dating is harder than ever before, especially for guys! So, if you’re a guy that is reaching the end of their patience with the dating world, we’re here for you!
We’re going to outline why dating is so hard, and also give you tips for navigating this tough world! After all, at the end of the day, all anyone wants is to connect with someone! It’s all just roundabout ways of reaching the same goal.
While you read this article, remember, keep it simple! There’s no need to overly stress about all the things about dating that are outside your control. Instead, focus on the things that are within your control, and we’ll cover those within this article.
Is Dating Harder for Guys?
Dating is hard. But is it actually harder for guys? The answer is really that it depends. Dating can be pretty hard in general, and the individual challenges can be pretty unique to everyone. So, while it may not necessarily be harder for any one group of people, there are definitely some unique challenges that everyone might need to consider.
Guys might have those “traditional” expectations of dating that could apply to each date, but those don’t always apply as strongly as in the past.
Next up, we’re going to take an in-depth look at what makes dating so hard! Throughout the list, we’ll also offer insights and tips so that you don’t have to feel the burden of all these challenges. Sometimes, by evaluating the problem, we can find the solution. We’re going to look at all the challenges so that you might not feel so overwhelmed.
What Makes Dating Hard in 2020?
You’re Putting Yourself Out There
First of all, the challenges that apply to dating now are much the same as the challenges that have always applied to the dating scene. The fact is that it can simply be a tough social situation.
You’re really putting yourself out there, getting to know a new person that you really want to impress, and facing the challenges of making an excellent first impression all at once in the dating market. It’s a lot! This situation can be very stressful for a lot of people, and it’s understandable.
Just remember that sometimes the tendency to overthink these situations can be quite strong. Sometimes keeping it simple can be the right approach. All you have to do is focus on being nice, honest, and engaged. That’s all anyone can really expect from a good date, and most of it might just involve being the person you already know how to be.
So Many Different Apps!
Here’s a pretty unique situation to our overly connected world of today. Dating in 2020 is so difficult simply because there are so many different apps and online tools for dating! It can all get a little bit confusing and overwhelming.
From the big dating apps on your phone to the online matchmaking services, to everything in between, it can be difficult to even know where to start as a potential online dater. It might feel like you’re missing out, or even like you’re not dating the “right” way.
The “right” way of dating is just the way that you are comfortable with. Many people don’t use these dating apps out of personal preference, and many enjoy them. There’s nothing wrong with thinking either way.
Social Media Exposes Us to So Many “Perfect” Relationships
Another problem with current dating is that we are exposed to so many perfect relationships and so many perfect dates through social media. At least they appear perfect because they’re on social media!
The tendency is pretty big to compare ourselves to other people’s experiences, and that’s easier than ever now that they post all about their lives online. Dating is a big part of many people’s online presence, and it’s pretty easy to get swept up in all the hype.
It’s good to keep in mind that people aren’t necessarily honest about their lives online. There’s a reason they posted something after all! No one wants to post things that make them look bad. So, if you can, try not to compare yourself to others too much. Try to compare yourself to what you are doing instead.
…And Bad Relationships
And of course, good relationships aren’t the only thing we see. We also see the bad ones! From people posting about their personal struggles to their dating challenges to their bad date experiences! It’s pretty easy to become jaded toward dating in 2020, especially as a guy!
At this point, you can probably see why too much social media can be kind of unhealthy. If you can, try not to compare yourself so much to others, and try to remember that their experiences don’t have to represent your experiences. At the end of the day, all you have control over are your own actions anyway, so why worry?
Some have referred to modern dating as “hookup culture.” With the rise of “hookup” apps like Tinder and Bumble, dating has all seemed to have gotten pretty casual in modern times. Simply put, this can make some guys uncomfortable!
Some people just aren’t comfortable using these apps, and they don’t feel like they fit into modern dating. This can be a challenge, but you also have to remember that there are others out there who feel exactly like you.
If you aren’t into “hookup culture,” then you can date how you want! Maybe straying away from the big apps would be best for you. There are lots of other ways to meet people, including just by attending events that match your interests (how old fashioned!).
You’ve Been Hurt in the Past
A major reason that many people avoid dating, in general, is that they have been hurt in the past or are still reeling from experiences in past relationships. The simple fact is that dating and relationships are pretty personal things, and sometimes that can leave a lasting mark and affect your relationships going forward. This can make it pretty difficult to keep dating, especially if you are still hurt by something that happened before.
It’s difficult to give advice for these situations, as most of them are quite personal, and you have to do what is needed to get over your personal experiences. Just remember that many people feel this way, and it does get better for many people with time.
Everything is on the Internet
Of course, other people’s social media might not be the only problem. You might be worried about your own social media! With everything getting posted online these days, you might be worried about having a relationship in person and dealing with everything that gets posted online.
It can be a lot to think about when you might just want to have a simple date. The expectations of what to post on social media get a bit tricky in 2020, especially in the age where everyone seems to be posting about their relationships.
Just remember that social media is a personal preference, and you can use it however it makes you most comfortable. If you don’t want to post all about your dating life online, then you really don’t have to. Remember, many people don’t post about themselves online; you just don’t see it!
So Many Standards and Expectations
Another difficult thing about dating is all the “expectations” that you might feel (especially as a guy) from asking her out the right way to picking the perfect place, to being courteous, to being funny & interesting.
All the expectations that are placed on this first date can stack up into something quite overwhelming. We won’t lie either, there are a lot of expectations on a first date, and it is a way that the other person will form an opinion about you.
Just remember that it’s your opportunity too! Dates are simply a way of seeing if two people are compatible. And if they aren’t, then that’s totally fine. So, at the risk of sounding too cliché, try to be yourself. Nothing will allow you both to know if this is going to work out better than if you both are honest with each other. At the end of the day, it’s all you really know how to be anyways.
So don’t hold up a first date as some situation where you need to be perfect. You can never live up to that expectation anyways. If it doesn’t work out, that’s cool; there’s more people out there.
Getting Over Rejection
What about dealing with rejection before the date even starts. That’s right. We’re talking about the dreaded “no.” You put yourself out there, ask someone out, and they reject you! We’re not going to lie, it stings, but all you can really do is move on from it. After all, as we mentioned above, sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Dating isn’t meant to work out every time anyways.
Try to think of the bright side of this situation (yes, there actually are some). At least the person was honest with you. It was quick and easy, and now you can both move on. And you should be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there like that. It takes a courage that not everyone has, and it represents that you can do it again! Dating is all about forming relationships and seeing where those relationships go. Eventually, something will work out, but try not to stress too much when it doesn’t.
It Can Feel Like You Have to Make the Decisions
As a guy, there can be pressure and the expectation that you have to make all the decisions for the first date. From asking the girl out, to deciding where to go, to deciding what to do, and everything in between. It can feel like all the pressure is on you to make these choices, and that is a bit much for some guys!
To put it bluntly, this isn’t exactly true. We won’t lie, guys often do face a bit of added pressure to make the decisions on the first date, but that doesn’t mean that both sides can’t be involved.
In fact, first dates are often a lot better if you ask the other person about their preference and favorite things and incorporate those into the date. Not only does this take some of the pressure off you, but it increases the chance of you planning something that everyone will enjoy!
Where to Go? What to Do?
The classic first date question, what should we do? As we just mentioned, the guy can feel a bit pressured to make this decision. The best solution to this problem is to know about the other person’s interests before you plan the date.
Before you ask them out, you should have a conversation with them so that you know if you two are compatible at all! Ask them about their favorite things and ask them about what they like to do. Chances are, you’ll have plenty of inspiration for a first date if you know a bit about them!
The “New vs. Traditional” Norms
Dating has changed a lot in recent years. With all the different social media platforms, apps, and methods of communication that we mentioned above, it can be difficult to know if traditional dating standards even apply anymore. Yes, dating is different in 2020, but dating is constantly changing with the times!
What will never change is that dating is simply about two people trying to see whether they can connect. It really is that simple. If you are someone that the other person likes to be with and can feel a connection with, then no amount of dating standards can change that.
So, if you’re finding yourself too wrapped up in all the confusing standards as they apply to dating, just try not to think about it too much. Because if you act like a person that the other person wants to be around, that will do more for you than some archaic dating standard ever would!
Putting it all Together
Remember, dating really boils down to one thing, mutual attraction. At the end of the day, there’s no way to fake this. It’s really just about treating the other person with respect and hoping for the same in return.
All of the above tricky situations and predicaments we have outlined can really all be disregarded if you simply focus on being yourself, being courteous, and being engaged. That’s really all there is to it.
Just think of what you would expect from someone else on a first date. Those expectations aren’t unreasonably high, are they? Chances are the other person who feels the exact same way.
So, you can apply as many “standards” and expectations as you want, but at the end of the day, you have to be yourself and hope to find someone you can connect with this way. So keep it simple, be a nice person, be bold, and have confidence.
We know it’s easier said than done, and it’s not going to work out every time, but that’s just dating! It’s not supposed to work out every time. It’s supposed to be a way for two people to connect, and if they aren’t perfectly compatible, then that’s just life.
Try to lower the expectations a bit and take a bit of the pressure off yourself. The more pressure you put on yourself to be perfect, the less likely you can live up to it anyway!
Thanks so much for reading our guide on dating for guys! As you can see, there are factors that make dating a bit tricky for guys, but that’s just dating in general. There are also many reasons why you need not stress too much over any of these factors. We hope we have helped you work through some of these issues. Good luck on your next first date!