How To Get A Girlfriend – The Timeless Guide For Men
There’s a lot of nonsense when it comes to meeting women and dating these days. You know it, you’ve probably paid for it.
While times have changed, your grandfather’s and his father’s ways of getting a girlfriend haven’t.
The truth is, a great deal of men today want someone to hold their hand while they say to hello to women. Many of which would probably like a coach to cheer them on in the bedroom and pass them an award at the end too.
In reality, getting a girlfriend isn’t difficult nor is it going to cost you a dime. Because I’m certainly not going to charge you a penny for this; I don’t have to. I’ve dated plenty of women, and I’d like to help you do the exact same.
Now, this guide is titled timeless because the advice hasn’t and won’t change. It’s called being a real man, and not surprisingly, it’s what women want and it works.
Dating is a lot like cold calling. It starts with communication.
A great deal of men today hate it.
Work in any car dealership for a month or two and you’ll notice the vast majority of salesmen act like slugs when it comes to handling the phone.
It’s a good reason phone training companies have been making a killing in the automotive industry for years and years. Training the lazy is profitable; it’s a rotating door of cash. (The dating gurus are no different.)
Of course, you’ll also encounter a different breed of salesman: The high-performer. The ones making all the sales; dialing away on the phones all day long destroying it. They know how the numbers game works and they use it to their advantage.
When it comes to women there is no difference. Either you want Cinderella herself or the cold hard cash from commission. Regardless, you’re going to have to work for both.
If you’re expecting the woman of your dreams to call you out of the blue without advertising yourself first, you’re dreaming. If you’re expecting a customer to buy from you without picking up the phone or greeting them when they walk in the door, you’re going to end up broke.
A man can either speak up or go unheard and remain unknown. In all my life, I have never seen an invisible man sell another human being a car. That’s for the fairy tales.
Sure technology has changed with email, text message, phone and more, but the root of it all hasn’t. I’m talking about one thing: Communication.
But you suck at communication:
Tough luck, it’s going to take time to master. Aside from taking private therapeutic sessions, here’s a few things that actually work:
1. Go anywhere in public, such as a local park and bring a notebook/pen with you. Take a seat somewhere and write down everything you see. The color of the leaves, a peculiar piece of clothing someone wore, the type of dogs passing by; in other words, anything that catches your attention.
At the end of the day your hand will be sore from all the writing. When you look at the pages and pages of notes you wrote, simply stop for a moment. Consider the millions of things you could have easily talked about with virtually anyone. Suddenly, striking up a conversation doesn’t seem so difficult. The more you practice this, the more you end up noticing what’s really around you, naturally and instinctively.
2. Surround yourself with people, even if it’s a small social group. Go to local meets up, where you can get involved in everything from cooking classes to karate. The goal here is to get comfortable with making new introductions and meeting new faces.
3. Go to the bar with a group of friends. The last person to introduce themselves to a woman pays the entire bill. Within time you’ll either succumb to positive peer pressure or become one of the first because you’re going broke.
4. Review these top 75 best questions to ask a girl you like. Bring them into conversations whether in person, over the phone or through text, you’ll be amazed with the results.
But you can’t find women to begin with:
Unless you live in a remote village comprised of two people, you’re giving into excuses. Women are everywhere. I don’t need to pull up the census statics to convince you of that.
A lot of men today go out with the intentions of meeting women, usually on a weekend, at a bar. And you know what happens. They deal with more than just higher competition from other males, they often look desperate. Woman get hit on all night, by time you approach them they already know what you want. Most men who get rejected try yet, again with another woman, only this time their frustrated and their body language prominently shows it.
Though, it’s not true for all situations. You can ask twenty women to go back to your place and get rejected nineteen times in a row at a nightclub. However, the twentieth woman could easily say yes. I’ve known a handful of gentlemen who can do it. It’s where the numbers game comes into play if you have a spine for handling rejection. Remember, there’s no sense in worrying over a woman who won’t give you her time.
A better way to approach women is to do it naturally on the weekdays while you’re running errands. All without having the intentions of picking up women in the first place. Venture to the local coffee shop, thrift store, dog park, post office, and so on. Note back to the number one part above about taking notice of your surroundings. There are plenty of things you can use around you to spark up a conversation.
Life is full of props, use them. The truth is, you can meet plenty of women, virtually anywhere. You do so every day without realizing it.
ps. It doesn’t matter if you intend to become friends, casual acquaintances or future partners with those around you. Even talking to older woman you have no interest in can help you look better in front of another woman you desire. It’s like magic; you not only gain respect from all kinds of women, you’ll also draw popular attention to yourself. Show an interest in everyone.
What you say matters as much as it doesn’t
Nothing you ever will ever say in this world offers a grantee in return. There’s this thing in life called negotiation, and attached with it comes a personal level of interest.
Regardless of what you say, a deal is either hot or it’s not. A woman will either give you the time of day or she won’t. Never beat yourself up over taking action.
Any man can say the most convincing string of words in the world. However, it won’t get you far if you can’t read the person on the other side of the desk. Much like women, you’re not going to know how to read her if you haven’t yet, first taken the step to talk to her. Even then, never underestimate how wrong you can be. In reality, she could be ruthless and rude. Six months from now she could be your worst nightmare and a name you have to put on a restraining order.
Now, a lot of men today fantasy about the “what could be’s” and the “what if’s” when it comes to random women. However, you just never truly know until you actually find out. There’s no sense in trying to fill in all those details with dreams when all they do is create doubts. If you meet a woman and immediately start thinking in terms of wife or girlfriend, stop.
Remember, a relationship won’t fill your emotional bank account to the brim in life. (There are two accounts in life: financial and emotional.) Even the wealthiest, most accomplishment married men in the world, still feel a void. Relationships are like boats out at sea, you will experience rough waters from time to time. (It’s what makes them stronger.)
Of course, if you’ve ever wondered where that sunken chest feeling of rejection comes from, well, there’s your answer. You dreamed of a reality that doesn’t exist and watched it all come crashing down. Don’t set yourself up for regret, let things come naturally. Within time rejection should be feel like a waiter telling you they don’t carry a certain bottle of wine. You casually say okay and pick from a menu of hundreds of other bottles. No big deal, perhaps there’s a better wine you’ve been missing out on.
The point is, never get caught up in what you should and shouldn’t say. Nor wait for the right moment. Real life isn’t a fairy tale, don’t try to live in one. The only surefire way to make any deal go sour or woman walk away is to succumb to fear and say nothing at all. Taking too long to say what’s on your mind is the easiest way to waste a good opportunity.
Dating is really only a numbers game from there
In the car dealer world not everyone will buy a car from you.
A customer could have bad credit, not enough money, obsessive emotional attachment to their vehicle, or you could just have not have what they want in your inventory. Of course, they can dislike the radio, way the car handles on the road, or a million other things too.
In the dating world, not every woman will want to date or go out with you.
A woman could have just broken up from a bad relationship, be overloaded from work and school, or just not be interested in what you have to offer in terms of hair color, body tone, fashion sense, bank account, and so on. Of course there are also a million other reasons too such as the possibility of having a voice that reminds her of popular movie actor she despises.
In reality, you can’t win them nor close them all. However, that should never, ever stop you from trying in the first place. Aim to close on one-hundred percent of the deals you make, because you will at least come close. In negotiation, a man who tells himself he’ll be okay closing five deals out of ten usually ends up closing one or two.
Keep in mind that the love of your life could be the next new woman you meet tomorrow. However, it can also be the hundredth or even thousandth. Sometimes you have to muddle your way through the muck and trenches to reach the finish line.
That’s just the cold harsh truth of life. And it goes right back to the hurdle of speaking up instead of being silent. Either you work for it or you end up with nothing.
But I’m ugly, broke, poor, this or that
Take a moment to consider all the couples you’ve come across in your lifetime. There’s no denying that even some of the least desirable men in society manage to find partners.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that only the rich, handsome and famous get all the women. Much like the human relation to ape behavior, they simply get to choose from a better selection. If this is what you want, then like all things in life you must work for it.
However, don’t make the mistake of fooling yourself into thinking for a moment this translates into better relationships. Just consider the divorce rates, which most forget about in the grand sparkle of success. Even the business magnate, Elon Musk has been divorced twice with the same woman. In other words, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.
Lack of wealth, fame or looks are merely excuses for the weak minded male.
The truth is, at the heart of every alpha male you’ll find one thing: A man who takes action. The hubbub over confidence comes from experience. Again, something you must first work for by taking action.
The odds are stacked in your favor. Women will date you regardless of your body shape, hair color, eye color, social awkwardness, bank account, etc. All of which can be changed if you are motivated enough to do so. Remember, the only difference between champ and chump is “U”.
There is so little time in life to be yourself, why waste it being someone you’re not?
Being real with women is about more than just gaining their trust, it’s about respecting yourself. It should come naturally.
Even if you work as a bagger at a grocery store, embrace it. In reality, your ambitions could be far greater than what you’re currently doing right this moment. There’s no shame in working towards what you want in life; everyone does so.
Nobody wants a gold-digger in relationship, don’t set yourself up for one. The lies alone will tear you apart more so than your financial bank account.
Of course, selling yourself doesn’t only involve your background, education, life goals, and so on. How you dress and groom yourself matters. I don’t have to spend an hour telling you how to do that. Consider the fact that women spend what seem like ages in the bathroom picking out the right outfit, putting on their makeup, ironing their hair and so on. Would it hurt you to show a little effort in how you look?
Dress to impress, even when it doubt.
Remember, selling yourself to a woman is a lot like selling cars on the lot at a dealership.
You wouldn’t walk out of the showroom with a smoke in your mouth, and show a customer a car that’s covered in bird droppings and doesn’t even run. Understand, the small things add up. Clean cloths like a freshly washed car exterior. Tire shine like a fine silk tie to complement any suit. I could go on here about how these details increase your appeal.
Experience breeds success
Like it not… Knowing how to read a situation and respond appropriately comes from one thing, and one thing only: Experience.
All the books in the world won’t help you master the art of attracting women. The reality is, no one ever won a war by reading it about, at some point they actually fought in it! Like all things in life, you have to make some mistakes first before you can grow.
Even the great MJ missed nine-thousand shots in his sports career. Imagine if he had never picked up a basketball and instead spent all his time looking for a miracle pill or mathematical formula to ensure every shot he took went in the hoop. You can bet he’d be watching from the sidelines today instead of being in the spotlight.
The truth is, in order to master anything whether it be a talent, sport or anything else in this life that demands effort, it requires 10,000 hours of practice first. Look at any successful man and you’ll find this to be true.
Regardless of what work towards, you will fail miserably, over and over again, and that’s perfectly okay. When it comes to women you will get rejected, ignored, say the wrong thing, ruin an otherwise good date, and so on from time to time.
Now, while it’s true confidence comes with experience… Being able to accept that fact above is where it really stems from. Confident men are willing to fail, and they do so naturally. Men without confidence live in so much fear of failing they often fail right from the start or worry their way right into disaster.
But I’m nervous, lack confidence, just got out of a bad divorce, etc.
It’s completely normal to be fearful of new things. Hell, it takes some men half of their life to quit their 9-5 employment and peruse a business of their dreams.
Even men who are happily married for years and years often find themselves struggling to meet new women after a disheartening divorce. They might have dated hundreds of women in their twenties and thirties only to find themselves right back at square one. In reality, you’d think with years of experience, it would be easy. For a lot of divorced men, at first it’s not. Again it goes back to one thing: fear. A little brushing up on any skill set brings about all the lessons we learned while making mistakes. Not to mention, the much needed confidence to continually get over any fear we encounter.
At the end of the day, remember: We make changes for two reasons: Inspiration or desperation. You can take charge of your life and rule from within or succumb to fear. It’s your choice. Regardless of how nervous you feel, always trust your gut. You’ll thank yourself later regardless of the outcome.
If you think all women aren’t attracted to nervous or shy guys you’re wrong. A great deal of women today appreciate those characteristics. Why? Because their genuine and natural.
Relax, most people feel lonely from time to time
That’s probably not what you want to hear, but it’s the reality.
And it’s not because they couldn’t find a partner. Sure, men often pass before their wives do. However, unforeseen health issues, accidents, etc all play a role too in wives passing away before their husbands too.
Remember, there are tons of lonely people in this world both young and old, attractive, successful, rich, etc. Even happily married gentlemen can feel emotionally empty too. Don’t beat yourself up if getting a girlfriend doesn’t seem to be going your way. You’re truly not alone. Those couples you see out on dates aren’t a reflection of what the world actually looks like.
While it’s important to take action and go after what you want, don’t rush yourself into wanting a girlfriend so badly that no woman will want date you. Being clingy, jealous and a door mat that gets stepped on will either make her run away or give her a hook to use the hell out of you, both financially and emotionally.
Understand that a female should never be your sole source of happiness in the world. Only you are responsible for filling up your emotional bank account in life. Having a girlfriend still comes with its ups and downs and challenges, it won’t solve all your problems, regardless of how much you dream it will.
Either face the truth or live with lies. If you truly want a girlfriend, you will get one. All the books, videos and podcasts in the world won’t help you.
Only having balls will.