“The best policy to solving this puzzle is to simply know when she’s not interested to begin with… Otherwise you’ll be rehashing things that don’t even matter. Women are like books in libraries.. There’s so many to choose from. I could write a story about each one. Never dwell on a bad read gentlemen.”
I’ve seen a ton of men’s guides out there that stumble their way though trying to explain all the subtle signs women give.
Their attempts are quite humorous to be honest.. And when I found out there are actually a ton of men trying to find the answer to the age old question: “How can you tell if a girl likes you”, I felt obligated to put something real out there.
But let’s face it gentlemen, the truth is every single woman is different, there are no clear cut answers. To actually help any men reading this and seeking advice, I’m going to be explaining this in reverse. And no, the title isn’t misleading, here’s why:
If she’s not displaying these negative signs I’ve outlined below, then the chances that she likes you are high. Stop wondering if that one random hair flip means she wants to have sex with you, come on man that’s crazy…
It’s almost as bad as the women’s magazines that claim men totally love ice cubes on their nipples and clothing pins poked in places below the belt. Because that turns on us like cave men in bed right? See what I mean, it’s all just nonsense.
Keeping reading and you discover something most men won’t in a lifetime..
You’ve decided that it’s time to put yourself out there, to be social with women, and try to let go of a little bit of your shyness. Suddenly, you encounter a brick wall who’s dressed to kill and won’t give you the time of day. All that hard-won optimism crashes to the ground and goes up in flames…
But what went wrong? You followed all the rules, and still got nowhere with this woman.
The hard truth about human interaction is that there are no set rules. You have to learn to adapt on the fly, and give yourself something to fall back on if what you’re doing isn’t effective. There are certain signs a girl doesn’t like you, and knowing what they are will make things a bit easier the next time this happens.
This guide will help you identify such situations before they get out of hand, and also offer some helpful tips for maintaining the balance of power in your favor.
But gentlemen just remember, if she’s not interested, it ultimately does not matter. Even if she won’t respond back to your friendly “hello” you need to do one thing only: Forget about her and move along… There are millions of women out there, so what if she refuses to value or acknowledge your time, it’s her loss. Let me say that again men.. It is always her loss.
If you are being a gentlemen, you are friendly and groom yourself accordingly, you have done absolutely nothing wrong at all. Do not dwell on it. The only time you will make a mistake is when you attempt to use pick up lines, or in reverse, when you don’t take her seriously or treat her with respect.
With that said, let’s begin the signs a girl doesn’t like you:
Anytime you approach an interaction in which some variables are unknown, you’ll need to be capable of reading non-verbal or subtle cues.
Body language is a big indicator of whether or not she’s attracted or even vaguely interested in anything you’re saying to her.
Cultivating your observational skills will help you tap into what all humans possess — the ability to read these messages. While it varies from culture to culture, you’ve been exposed to these signals for your entire life. Now it’s time to put that education to good use.
Prevalent indicators of disinterest include:
• The Wandering Gaze — if she isn’t making eye-contact with you, but is staring around the club or bar, this is usually a good indication that she isn’t interested.
What it means: Eye-contact, even side-long or flickering gazes and glances are signs that she is listening to you, actively engaged in the conversation. A downcast or averted gaze that isn’t focused in the distance is usually a sign of shyness or social discomfort, not disinterest, but you should adjust your approach accordingly.
What is often used to consciously communicate disinterest is the deliberately wandering gaze that seems to be looking elsewhere for stimulation. Even when women don’t know they’re doing it, they are sending you the message that it’s time to try your luck elsewhere through this tactic.
It isn’t necessarily a sex-specific trait, either. If you think about it, you’ll find yourself remembering situations with other guys in which such a move was an indicator of disrespect or inattention.
• Averted or Closed Posture — is she leaning away from you or turning her upper body in another direction? Are her arms crossed in front of her? These and other postures can indicate that she’s not desirous of a connection with you, no matter how cool you are.
This can also be a sign that she’s uncomfortable or feels threatened by your attention. Even if you don’t think you’re coming on too strongly, there may be factors that cause her to perceive you as overbearing.
They may have nothing to do with you, but take a step back anyway. If she’s communicating simple disinterest, don’t sweat it. I’ll cover what to do in the next section.
• Tone and Length of Response — Short or monosyllabic responses delivered in an uninflected or “bored-sounding” voice are a big red flag that you’re not getting anywhere with her. This is often the biggest sign of what many would call the “bitch” treatment.
Don’t demean yourself by using that label, even in your own head. What it is, rather, is a major indicator of disrespect, which doesn’t adhere to one sex alone. Don’t stand for that from anyone, least of all a woman with whom you’re simply trying to make conversation.
Everyone’s been there — the promising flirtation that goes south in a hurry. Don’t take it too personally, because in all likelihood, it has more to do with her than it does with you or anything you’ve said.
The best way to recover from this sort of uncomfortable development is to remember to value yourself and your time. You don’t need to go begging for attention, and if you persist in the face of disinterest, this is precisely what you’re communicating to any person.
You have a lot to offer, so don’t make a beggar out of yourself.
Persisting will also score you major points in the “annoying and creepy” category, which is the last thing you want.
Withdraw with grace and courtesy, especially if she’s being rude. This actually gives you the upper hand in the situation because it communicates that you’re a more mature person.
Simply say, “It was nice talking to you (use her name). Have a great night.” Then, make your exit and move on to your next interaction.
The best reason for being a better person is that you will see this woman again. There’s no guarantee of when or where, but if you show her courtesy, you are making an impression that she will remember the next time your paths cross. She’ll also remember that she wasn’t kind or mature, and it will give you the upper hand in your dynamic.
While there are a number of reasons that women offer resistance to strange guys who chat them up in bars, only a couple of them have anything to do with you directly or in the moment. Understanding this will help you to maintain your self-respect and deal with any adverse situation with tact and grace.
When you set out to meet women, it’s all about human connection. If she isn’t open to a connection with you at that moment, move on and seek a fun conversation elsewhere.
We often tend to make disinterest all about us, when often it isn’t. Women are also human beings, with their own internal struggles, histories, and emotional baggage.
Just like you.
Remembering this can help you act more compassionately without sacrificing your own self-interest. Maybe she had a fight with her friend or she’s just broken up with a significant other and is feeling a little vulnerable.
Maybe there are issues at work that are on her mind when you approach her.
Or, maybe she’s painfully shy, too, and feels the need to self-protect.
Whatever the cause of her behavior, it’s vital that you don’t let it slow you down in your mission to be a social, friendly, adult man.
Who knows what the future holds?