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The 15 Best Relationship Books for Men To Read in 2022
Relationships are complex. They can be fun, messy, exciting, sad, and everything in between. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in the honeymoon phase or 10 years down the track, all relationships require hard work, commitment, and compromise.
Unforntaunley, men are often stubborn creatures who refuse to seek help when trouble is brewing. We are more likely to become uncommunicative and offer up solutions that are less than satisfactory. If you are struggling in your relationship there is no shame in asking for help. If you’re not ready for counseling, there are dozens of great books on relationships that can offer you some guidance. It doesn’t matter if you want to learn how to be more open, are having second thoughts about your love, or are wanting to spice things up in the bedroom, there is a book for every situation.
Below are 15 of the best relationship books sure to offer some helpful advice.
Best Buy Described as America’s ‘foremost relationship expert,’ Dr. John M. Gottman is an expert on how to make relationships work. He has written over a dozen books, including the bestsellers The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide From the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, and What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal. While these are all fantastic self-help manuals, our pick is his 2002 entry The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships. Gottman goes into detail about the five-step program he has developed that’s aimed at solidifying your relationships, be they romantic or platonic. With over 20 years of experience, Gottman brings a lot to the table, with The Relationship Cure providing all the tools needed to keep your partnership in good health. Gottman is big on communication, with this book a well-written and easy-to-read guide to keeping your relationship afloat.1. The Relationship Cure - Dr. John M. Gottman
Sue Johnson is the creator of Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most successful forms of therapy for couples. It works on the idea that human emotions are connected to human needs, meaning if we can work through our emotional problems, we can fix bad behaviors in our lives, particularly when it comes to our relationships. She puts her knowledge to great use in this well-written book about finding emotional solutions to emotional problems in your relationship. It might not seem like brain surgery, but it’s often not that easy for men to really open up and explore their feelings. Johnson’s book will provide you with all you need to establish a true emotional connection with your partner so can overcome the smallest of issues.2. Gold Me Tight: Seven Converstions for a Lifetime of Love - Sue Johnson
If you’re a user of the dating app Hinge, one of the prompts is: What is your favorite love language? Gary Champman writes about the different love languages and how to identify your partner’s love language and understand their needs. For those not in the know, the five love languages are; words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Everybody has their own favorite and this book will help you identify not only your own, but your partners, so you can be more attentive and provide them with the emotional nourishment they require. The great thing about this book is you can also apply what you learn to other relationships, such as those with your friends or parents. With over 10 million copies sold, it’s hard to argue with Chapman’s advice.3. The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition: The Secret That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships - Gary Chapman
Every relationship goes through periods where sex gets put on the back burner, especially when kids are involved, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Licensed clinical social worker and marriage and family therapist Michele Weiner Davis delves into the problems many people in a sexless relationship encounter and uses firsthand accounts from couples to explore how you can fix the problem and get your libido back. The book is broken down into two parts, with the first dealing with those who are more highly sexual and the second part with those possessing a lower libido. It looks at the reasons why people’s libidos are different and how you can overcome this in your relationship so both partners are fulfilled.4. The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Complete Guide - Michele Weiner Davis
Renowned therapist Terrence Real looks at ways both men and women can achieve greater intimacy in their relationships. Drawing on his own research and experiences with male depression, Real details how we can strengthen and improve our relationships with the opposite sex. Real uses stories from couples he has treated to explain his ideas and provide compelling examples of the issues many of us face in relationships today. This book looks at real struggles couples go through and provides real solutions. It is highly recommended for those with intimacy problems and people who want to learn and grow as a person and as a couple.5. How Can I Get Through To You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women - Terrance Real
One of the biggest causes of relationship breakdowns is infidelity. This is something therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel discusses in The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Perel dives deep into the impact affairs can have on a marriage while arguing that they can teach us a lot about who we are and what we want from a relationship. It may be a tough read for those who have suffered infidelity in a relationship, but Perel writes in a way that’s neither demeaning nor self-righteous. Having worked with hundreds of couples who have experienced cheating, she understands how to frame her words in a way that not only makes sense but can help you get through such an event. She believes an affair doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship and can be the reawakening of two people’s love for each other. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.6. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Esther Perel
The title of this book should provide you with all the information you need to know. As men, we often think we know what we are doing in the bedroom, but sadly this isn’t always the case. Getting your sex education from Pornhub doesn’t make you a sexual Adonis. Ian Kerner wants to fix this by making men understand how to pleasure their partners, with this handy guide to oral sex a must for anyone struggling in that department. Even those who think they know what they are doing will learn some handy tips to help them on their quest to becoming a better lover. While it might not make you a master cunnalinguist, you will have a better understanding of how to pleasure your lady friend.7. She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman - Ian Kerner
This isn’t as much a self-help book as an overview of modern relationships and how the abundance of choices we have makes it harder to settle down. Written by comedian Aziz Ansari and American sociologist and New York University professor Eric Klinenberg, this intriguing book is a mix of comedy and science that will have you questioning your relationship choices with a wry smile. Unlike many other relationship books, this one has plenty of graphs, charts, and pictures to keep you interested. Ansari mixes his real-life tales with Klinenberg’s fact-based research, providing a humorous look at dating in the 21st century.8. Modern Romance: An Investigation - Aziz Ansari
If the name Mark Mason sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the same fella who wrote the bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. With Models, Mason aims to show men how to develop emotional security so we can create meaningful connections with women. While it does sound a bit like a bro’s guide to picking up chicks (something Mason is well aware of), Models focuses more on exploring the emotional side of dating and will have you reconsidering your dating approach for the better.9. Models: Attract Women Through Honesty - Mark Manson
One of the OG relationship books, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus focuses on the pure differences between men and women. Across 13 chapters John Gray addresses many issues, such as the different needs of men and women, what their expectations are, how they react differently to situations, and how they deal with stress. While he does occasionally lean into stereotypes of men and women a little bit too much, Gray still provides a great understanding of the emotional differences between men and women and provides ways on how to cater to your partner’s emotional needs.10. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex - John Gray
Talking is easy, but actually getting to the bottom of our problems and discussing things in an emotionally stable way is something many men find difficult. Douglas Stone is here to help you with his great book about how to communicate your feelings and thoughts. While Difficult Conversations is aimed at helping you communicate in all types of situations and with all types of people, you can certainly take what Stones teaches and apply it to your love life. It’s also great for those who find it hard to get their point across during a fight. As we know, no matter how good your relationship is, you will fight with your partner. This book will help you understand the best approach to take when tackling the tough issues with your partner and help defuse volatile situations so you can work things out in a peaceful and respectful manner.11. Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most - Douglas Stone
In the follow-up to his highly controversial pick-up book The Game, Neil Strauss dives headfirst into his own relationship problems and tries to understand whether monogamy and long-term relationships are really achievable in the modern world. If you’re not familiar with Strauss, he’s a successful journalist who’s written many books, with The Game being one of his most successful. That book is all about the world of pick-up artistry, with Strauss eventually becoming one himself. After years of living the playboy life, Strauss finally met someone who made him choose between a life of casual sex or an adult relationship. The Truth details his experiences of trying to turn his back on his former life and become a better man. What sets this book apart from many on this list is that Strauss uses his own experiences with therapy and counseling to explain how his childhood traumas have impacted his relationships and ability to be a one-woman guy. While it might be all about Strauss and his issues, the book does provide a number of keys to having a healthy, intimate relationship, something Strauss believes we all deserve.12. The Truth: An Eye-Opening Odyssey Through Love Addiction, Sex Addiction, and Extraordinary Relationships - Neil Strauss
The title might make this book sound like you need to turn into an asshole to get what you want, but that’s far from the truth. Dr. Robert A. Glover believes ‘nice guys’ are actually suffering and doing more damage than harm. While often focused on trying to please others they neglect their own needs, often resulting in their own lives being emotionally unfulfilled. Glover has come up with a number of ways for men who fall into the nice guy category to take back their manhood and achieve happiness and success in their relationships. There are a number of exercises you can work through and plenty of psychology talk to back up Glover’s ideas. As Green Day so eloquently put it, “Nice guys finish last,” so do yourself a favor and give Grant’s book a read and turn your life around.13. No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life - Dr. Robert A. Green
One of the more recent books on our list, Mindful Relationship Habits is all about keeping the spark alive in a relationship. As we know, life often gets in the way. Work, kids, and finances are just some of the everyday things we have to deal with, and they often take precedent over our actual relationship. To help you get back on track, authors S.J. Scott and Barrie Davenport have come up with 25 tips you can apply to your relationship to get the best out of you and your partner’s life. Everything detailed in the book is backed up by scientific research, with the habits introduced aiming to help you communicate better, understand each other’s needs, be more emphatic, and much more. The entire book can best be summed up by this quote: “Mindfulness simply means to pay attention, to be present, to be engaged, to be aware, to be conscious. When you apply these behaviors to your relationship, it can only grow stronger and more joyful.”14. Mindful Relationship Habits: 25 Practices for Couples to Enhance Intimacy, Nurture Closeness, and Grow a Deeper Connection - S J. Scott & Barrie Davenport
In another book backed by science, authors Amir Levine & Rachel Heller use collected data to break down why some people are great at relationships and others stink. They use the attachment theory, pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s and widely regarded as one of the “most advanced relationship sciences in existence today,” to back up their findings. There are three main attachment styles; avoidant, secure, and anxious, with each causing its own set of problems. Attached looks at all three styles and offers reasons for why we fall into each category while providing answers on how to escape bad behaviors in our relationships so we can become the best partner possible.15. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love - Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
