You Stay Classy, San Diego: 50 Hilarious Anchorman Quotes

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is one of the funniest movies of the past two decades. The 2004 movie is a laugh-out-loud comedy with star performances, a humorous script, and countless Anchorman quotes that people still use in conversation today.

A showcase of the comedic talents of Will Ferrell, the movie is a hilarious tale about 1970s anchorman Ron Burgundy (Ferrell). At the top of his game as the number one newsreader in San Diego, Burgundy finds himself challenged by up-and-coming newswoman Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate), who becomes his co-anchor. 

Written by Ferrell and Adam McKay (Step Brothers, Talladega Nights, and The Other Guys) and also directed by McKay, Anchorman is one of those films you can watch over and over and still find funny. It helps that Ferrell and McKay are two very funny guys, but credit must also go to the ensemble cast that includes Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, Fred Willard, David Koechner, Fred Armisen, Vince Vaughn, Danny Trejo, Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Tim Robbins, Luke Wilson, and Seth Rogan. 

While it wasn’t necessarily a box office smash, Anchorman did make enough money to warrant a sequel, with Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues arriving in 2013. Although not as funny, it’s still a worthy sequel that finds Burgundy moving to New York to take a job on the first 24-hour news channel. 

But enough about the sequel, as we want to focus on the hilarious quotes found in the original movie. These one-liners, crazy statements, and weird lines are what make Anchorman a comedy classic. In the words of Ron Burgundy, “You stay classy,” and enjoy these Anchorman quotes. 

1. “You stay classy, San Diego. I’m Ron Burgundy?” – Ron Burgundy

2. “It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good. They’ve done studies, you know. 60%t of the time, it works every time.” – Brian Fantana

3. “Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.” – Ron Burgundy

4. “Where did you get those clothes, at the toilet store?” – Brick Tamland

5. “I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?” – Ron Burgundy

6. “Hello? Who’s there, I’m talking? Hello? Who is this? Baxter… is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee… Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the courage to say something! Hello? – Ron Burgundy

7. “You’re watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee” – Announcer

8. “I love scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” – Ron Burgundy

9. “She was Brazilian or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.” – Brian Fantana

10. “Sweet Lincoln’s mullet!” – Ron Burgundy

11. “It is anchorman, not anchor lady! And that is a scientific fact!” – Champ Kind

12. “And I’m Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.” – Ron Burgundy

13. “The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show [kisses his biceps] and see if she likes the goods.” – Ron Burgundy

14. “Hey, you’re making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk!” – Brian Fantana

15. “Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.” – Ron Burgundy

16. “Mmmmm… I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!” – Ron Burgundy

17. “Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72% sure that I love you!” – Veronica Corningstone

18. “You’re a real hooker. I’m gonna slap you in public.” – Ron Burgundy

19. “I am gonna straight-up murder your ass!” – Frank Vitchard

20. “I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.” – Ron Burgundy

21. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the baby maker.” – Ron Burgundy

22. “I’m sorry Veronica… we’ve had this discussion before. I’m not going to let you be the anchor.” – Ed Harken

23. “Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?” – Ron Burgundy

24. “Knights of Columbus, that hurt!” – Ron Burgundy

25. “Are you trying to tell me that there’s a party in your pants and that I’m invited?” – Veronica Corningstone

26. “Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?” – Ron Burgundy

27. “I wanna say something. I’m gonna put this out there: if you like it, you can take it. If you don’t, send it right back … I want to be ON you.” – Ron Burgundy

28. “Who the hell is Julius Caesar? You know I don’t follow the NBA.” – Ron Burgundy

29. “The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.” – Ron Burgundy

30. “People call me the Bri-man. I’m the stylish one of the group. I know what you’re asking yourself, and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. It’s called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes. My left one is James Westfall, and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang.” – Brian Fantana

31. “By the Hammer of Thor!” – Ron Burgundy

32. “It’s so damn hot… milk was a bad choice.” – Ron Burgundy

33. “Champ here. I’m all about havin’ fun. You know, get a couple of cocktails in me, start a fire in someone’s kitchen. Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. Anyway, I’ve become kind of famous for my signature catchphrase, “Whammy!” As in, “Gene Tenace at the plate . . . and whammy!” Whammy!” – Champion Kind

34. “Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.” – Ron Burgundy

35. “I’m Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite, and I’m rarely late. I like to eat ice cream, and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call ‘mentally retarded.'” – Brick Tamland

36. “I’m going to do the thing that God put Rod Burgundy on this Earth to do: Have salon-quality hair and read the news.” – Ron Burgundy

37. “Como éstan, bitches! Spanish language news is here. Tonight’s top story: the sewers run red with Burgundy’s blood.” – Arturo Mendez

38. “Okay, before we start, let’s go over the ground rules. No touching of the hair or face. And that’s it. Now, fight!” – Ron Burgundy

39. “How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don’t wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don’t know her name. What is it? Lanolin. La – Lanolin? Like – like sheep’s wool?” – Ron Burgundy

40. “Huh, here we go again. Every station, it’s the same. Women ask me how I put up with it. Well, the truth is, I don’t really have a choice. This is definitely a man’s world. But while they’re laughing and grab-assing, I’m chasing down leads and practicing my non-regional diction. Because the only way to win is to be the best. The very best.” – Veronica Corningstone

41. “Oh, come on. Audrey. I look like hell. I got bags under my eyes. What’s that? Well, if you were a man, I would punch you. I’d punch you right in the mouth. That’s bush. Bush league.” – Ron Burgundy

42. “Good evening. I’m Ron Burgundy, and this is what’s happening in your world tonight. A La Jolla man clings to life at a university hospital after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs in an abandoned pool.” – Ron Burgundy

43. “Apparently, my son was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You know how kids are!” – Edward Harken

44. “Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen. Cannonball!” – Ron Burgundy 

45. “You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.” – Ron Burgundy

46. “I’ll give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.” – Brian Fantana

47. “I’ll have three fingers of Glenlivet, with a little bit of pepper… and some cheese.” – Ron Burgundy

48. “I know that one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married on top of a mountain. And there’s going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance ’til the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside, and you won’t be invited!” – Ron Burgundy

49. “Not so fast, you ingrates! Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! No mercy!” – Public News Anchor

50. “By the hymen of Olivia Newton John!” – Ron Burgundy