76 Funny Excuses for Being Late To Work

Nobody wants to be late for work, but considering most of us live busy lives, it’s bound to happen now and then. Most bosses are ok if you roll in a few minutes late here and there, but there are those who can’t stand tardiness. When your employer doesn’t allow for any leeway when it comes to getting to the office on time, sometimes you have to come up with a good reason why you are late. Saying you were stuck in traffic or you lost your keys just won’t cut it and will be called out as a lame excuse. That’s when funny excuses for being late to work come in handy. 

Honesty might be the best policy, with legitimate excuses being the preferred option, but if you can provide a funny excuse or creative excuse for being late, your boss (if they have a sense of humor), is more likely to have a laugh and let you off. We can’t guarantee that a fake excuse will work, because if your employer is a hard-ass and a horrible boss you might find yourself in even more trouble. But hopefully, they will see the funny side and let you get on with your day without any kind of reprimand. 

To make sure you are armed with the funniest and best excuses, here is a selection you can use next time you are running late. 

76 Funny Excuses for Being Late To Work

1. Aliens kidnapped me and only dropped me back this morning after experimenting on my body.

2. I was late because I had a job interview with another firm.

3. My angry roommate cut the cord to my phone charger, so it didn’t charge and my alarm didn’t go off.

4. The line at Starbucks was extra long this morning. 

5. I was on an important Call of Duty mission last night and slept in. 

6. The dog buried my car in the backyard.

7. My leg was trapped between the train carriage and the platform.

8. There was a cow blocking the road.

9. My kid flushed my car keys down the toilet. 

10. While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog. 

11. I had an audition for The Voice. 

12. My ex stole my car so I couldn’t drive to work this morning. 

13. I locked myself and my dog out of my apartment building.

14. Through a cosmic rift, I was pulled into another world. 

15. I was waiting for my pants to dry in the dryer. 

16. The parking lot was full so I had to keep on driving around the streets until I could find a park. 

17. My car was attacked by a bear.

18. I had to get a squirrel out of my car.

19. My route to work was shut down by the Prime Minister’s motorcade.

20. I thought it was Saturday morning and not Friday morning. 

21. The police were arresting someone and their car was blocking my driveway.

22. I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.

23. There was a public transportation strike and I decided to join the protestors. 

24. My latest post on social media is receiving lots of likes and comments and I forgot that I had to go to work. 

25. I was kidnapped this morning by some activists for two hours until they let me go. 

26. The train in front of the one I am traveling on has caught fire.

27. I was thinking of something while driving the car and landed straight at our old office.

28. The radio in my car is broken and I can’t drive without music. 

29. I caught the wrong train and ended up in New York City. 

30. A man is coming to hang some pictures.

31. I got caught in a parade on the way to work. 

32. There is a 24-hour flu going around which made me ill for three days.

33. I forgot it was daylight savings time and forgot to adjust my alarm clock. 

34. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.

35. I had one more episode of the TV show I was watching left and time got away from me. 

36. My partner hid my car keys before I left for work. 

37. I didn’t have any clean clothes so had to go to the store and buy some. 

38. The toaster caught on fire and I had to call the fire brigade. 

39. I got locked in my car boot. 

40. Homeland Security got me mixed up with someone else and detained me for several hours. 

41. Bad weather put me off from coming to work. 

42. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn’t find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

43. My driveway disappeared so I couldn’t back my car out of the garage safely. 

44. I found a wasps nest in my bedroom and had to call an exterminator. 

45. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed the traffic.

46. Someone was following me to work so I had to lose them before I arrived. 

47. I was interrogated by armed police while I was having a pee against the wall of the American embassy. As a result, I got home so late that I slept right through the alarm.

48. One of my kids accidentally dialed the police and I had to explain to them that everything was ok when they arrived at the door. 

49. I was out of cat food so I had to go to the pet store first. 

50. The bus broke down and the driver wouldn’t let me off.

51. A zebra was running on the highway, causing a huge traffic jam. 

52. I went out last night and I’m still drunk now. 

53. A lady was giving birth on the street and I had to help her.

54. My dog chewed my work shoes so I had to stop at the shops and buy a new pair. 

55. I was warned by my astrologer about the chances of a car accident this morning so I had to ride my bike to work. 

56. My goldfish died and I had to buy it before coming to work. 

57. I applied glue mistaking it to be a contact lens solution and ended up at the hospital. 

58. My dog looked too cute and I had to stay to pet her some more.

59. I cleaned the house so I didn’t have to do it after work.

60. A wizard is never late! Nor is he early. He always arrives precisely when he means to.

61. Time is just a construct, so who can say if I am early, late, or on time? 

62. I’m not late, I’m just early for tomorrow. 

63. My neighbor said if he saw me come out of the house he’d kill me.

64. I got lost on the journey of life. 

65. My dog pooped in the house. I couldn’t just let that sit around for hours until I returned home.

66. I could not leave the house as I had overdosed on Viagra and the results were outstanding but embarrassing. 

67. My alarm was set to PM instead of AM.

68. Sorry I’m late… I left late.

69. I’m sorry. Someone told me to go to hell. I couldn’t find it at first, but now I’m here.

70. My dog bit my bike tire and gave me a flat.

71. I was on a job search and forgot I had to be at work. 

72. Another worker told me I didn’t have to come in on time today and I believed them. 

73. My car trouble involved my exhaust falling off while I was driving down the freeway. 

74. I could give you a common excuse like my pet was sick, but I’m going to tell you the truth: I was attacked by killer bees and couldn’t escape my apartment. 

75. My late arrival is due to me forgetting where I put my glasses, meaning I couldn’t drive until I found them. 

76. I had a family emergency. My youngest wet the bed.