120 Funny Family Quotes Everyone Can Relate To

Funny family quotes are the perfect way to get your family laughing next time you are together. These quotes are all about relatable experiences and feelings we have all had when dealing with our families. They are great for a good laugh or can be used when something hilarious or silly happens when you and your family are together. 

We can’t choose our family so many of these quotes are great examples of what it’s like to go through the good and the bad. The quotes we have collected come from a wide range of sources. Some are from famous people while others are from anonymous family members who understand what it’s like when the family home gets crazy. They are funny family quotes you can roll out at your next family gathering or text your siblings and have a laugh.

General Funny Family Quotes

These funny family quotes are general comments about the family dynamic and what family life is like. These short funny quotes will no doubt remind you of your own family and some of the more memorable incidents you have experienced. 

1. “Some call it chaos we call it family.”

2. “From vanity to insanity, no one knows you better than your family.”

3. “Every family tree has some sap!”

4. “There’s nothing like a family vacation to make you appreciate a bit of separation.”

5. “In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.”   

6. “Our sanity might be debatable, but our bond is unbreakable.”

7. “Home is wherever my bunch of crazies are.”

8. “Caller ID was invented for family screening.”

9. “At a family reunion, you’ll meet every human to whom you’re related. Will you be elated? That’s still to be debated.”

10. “What passes for normality in my family just might defy the laws of gravity.”

11. “The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.”

12. “Sometimes I think our family tree doesn’t branch quite enough.”

13. “Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”

14. “If you think I’m crazy wait till you meet my family.”   

15. “Family is like that annoying itch you can’t scratch.”    

16. “My family is temperamental. Half temper, half mental.”

17. “We are more than family. We are like a really small gang.”

18. “Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown circus.”  

19. “In my family, crazy is relative. All of them.”

20. “Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a few nuts.”

21. “I smile because you’re my family… I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it!”  

22. “Every happy family has that one crazy person in it. If you’re missing one I seem to have a few extras.”

23. “Strangers think I’m great. My friends think I’m eccentric. My family knows that I am completely insane!”

24. “If you want to call a family meeting, just turn off the Wi-Fi router and wait in the room in which it is located.”

25. “Good news: The holidays are about family. Bad news: It has to be your own family.”      

Funny Family Quotes About Parents 

These family quotes are reserved for your parents. Show them some love with one of these great quotes. While they do their best to raise you right and give you a good education, they can often become overbearing and suffocating, especially as you get older. Throw out a funny quote from this list and see how they react. You’ll either get a few laughs or a stern look of disapproval. 

26. “It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”

27. “What’s the fastest way to feel the effects of old age? Become a parent!”

28. “Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”

29. “What’s it like to be a parent? Question after question paired with congestion and indigestion.”

30. “Insanity is contagious: Parents catch it from their kids!”

31. “Ah, the wonders of parenting. I wonder where all my time goes. I wonder why I don’t have any money.”

32. “You know you’re old when you barely do anything all day but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.”

33. “90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.”

34. “It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.”

35. “And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

36. “Parenting was much easier when I was raising my non-existent kid hypothetically.”

37. “Ever had a job where you had no experience, no training, you weren’t allowed to quit and people’s lives were at stake? That’s parenting.”

38. “Before becoming a parent I didn’t know I could ruin someone’s life by asking them to put pants on…”

39. “’So I stepped away for like two seconds… the beginning of every parenting horror story.”

40.  “A perfect metaphor for parenting is trying to stand up in a hammock without spilling your wine.”

Funny Family Quotes About Siblings

Sometimes we just want to murder our siblings, but other times they are our best friends. They are the one family member you always have a love/hate relationship with, unless you both magically get on, which is also the case for some. Regardless, these sayings will have you and your siblings giggling along. At least for a few minutes before the rivalries kick in again. 

41. “Sometimes people say they can’t tell me and my sister apart. Here’s a hint: I’m the pretty one.”

42. “Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”

43. “It was nice growing up with someone like you; someone to lean on, someone to count on… someone to tell on!”

44. “Siblings can be annoying, but they are also the sweet and lovable monsters you cannot live without.”

45. “Sisters are like psychiatrists. They have no choice but to listen to your whining then turn around and rob you blind.”

46. “You grow with them. You fight with them, but you love them so much that you’d fight with others to protect them.”

47. “Having sisters is like living in Cinderella’s house. I’m pretty, overworked, and underappreciated, and they’re evil.”

48. “Older siblings will use you for their fun and entertainment but can break anyone’s head who troubles you.”

49. “I smile because you’re my sister/brother. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.”

50. “Sisters and brothers are the truest, purest forms of love, family, and friendship, knowing when to hold you and when to challenge you, but always being a part of you.”

51. “They say ‘older is wiser,’ but I’ve yet to see you demonstrate that as a fact!”

52. “I can’t promise to solve all your problems, but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone.”

53. “Siblings are like free insurance. If you need a new body part, they’ve got the perfect spare.”

54. “In the cookies of life, sisters, brothers are the chocolate chips.”

55. “My brother/sister is my partner in crime. Until we get caught… then, he did it!”

Funny Family Quotes About Grandparents

Where would we be without our grandparents? They are always there, whether it’s hanging out during the holiday season or babysitting when you’re younger. These great quotes about grandparents will have you ringing them and telling them how much you love them. Or make you laugh at how funny and crafty they can be. 

56. “Grandmas don’t just say ‘that’s nice’ – they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”

57. “Something magical happens when parents turn into grandparents.”

58. “Being a grandparent means you can be as silly as you like.” 

59. “Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”

60. “There are no words to describe the happiness in holding your baby’s baby.”

61. “A grandparent is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend.”

62. “The best parents get promoted to grandparents.”

63. “Grandparents are the perfect blend of love, laughter, and happy memories.”

64. “You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother/grandfather.”

65. “You will never look back on life and think, ‘I’ve spent too much time with my grandchildren.’”

66. “It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother – that’s why the world calls her grandmother.”

67. “Grandpas always have time for you when everyone else is too busy.”

68. “Grandparents hold our hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever.”

69. “The smart, kind, beautiful child must have got it from their grandparents.”

70. “Grandparents are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re there.”

Funny Family Quotes About Kids

A family quote about kids is always going to be funny, as we all know how fun and silly children can be. These funny quotes and funny captions about kids will be relatable for most parents. Even when kids drive you up the wall you can not help but love them. 

71. “That time you realize your kids are in bed sleeping yet you’ve been watching The Disney Channel for the past hour by yourself.”

72. “I was normal two kids ago.”

73. “My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.”

74. “When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is ‘please forget.'”

75. “Kids bring a lot of light into your life. Just check the power bill if you don’t believe me.”

76. “Since the kid was born, I’ve been sleeping like a baby – not at all!”

77. “Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”

78.  “When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is, ‘Please forget.’”

79. “To encourage my little kid to eat something, I would sometimes say: Just pretend it is sand.”

80. “I love when my kids tell me they’re bored. As if the lady standing in front of a full sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time.”

81. “My greatest fear is that my teenage child will do what I did during my own teenage years.”

82. “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.”

83. “Of your home, you’ll no longer be the queen when your sweet little child first becomes a tween.”

84. “From crawler to toddler to elementary school scholar, then onward to tween quickly followed by teen, the years will go by faster than anything you’ve seen.”

Funny Family Quotes About Spouses

Now for some funny family quotes about spouses. Without your partner, you wouldn’t get through anything. But these funny quotes will make you both love each other and have some fun together. 

85. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”

86. “My husband thinks I’m crazy, but he’s the one who married me.”

87. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”

88. “Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”

89. “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”

90. “Had date night tonight. Went to Lowe’s and bought a toilet.”

91. “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” 

92. “And do you solemnly swear to protect me from spiders as long as we both shall live?”

93. “Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”

94. “Don’t make love by the garden gate – love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.”

95. “If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say ‘Now you’re super mad!’ If they laugh marry them.”

Funny Family Quotes From Famous People

Famous people have lived extraordinary lives and many of them have great advice when it comes to family, love, and the funny moments that occur between families. Whether you come from a large family or a small family, you are sure to find these family quotes funny.

96. “There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human, are created, strengthened and maintained.” – Winston Churchill

97. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler

98. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

99. “I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.” – Nancy Mitford

100. “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” – George Bernard Shaw

101. “Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” – Wayne Huizenga

102. “My family is my strength and my weakness.” – Cary Grant

103. “Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.” – Clint Eastwood

104. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

105. “Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

106. “Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.”- David Frost

107. “Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.” – Ryan Reynolds

108. “The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

109. “Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.” – Earl Wilson

110. “My mother loved children. She would have given anything if I had been one.” – Groucho Marx

111. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

112. “A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” – Jerry Seinfeld 

113. “Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children.” – Sam Levinson

114. “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – John Stewart

115. “You know what it’s like having five kids? Imagine you’re drowning. And someone hands you a baby.” – Jim Gaffigan 

116. “What causes sibling rivalry? Having more than one kid.” – Tim Allen

117. “The other night I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” – George Carlin

“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”- Rodney Dangerfield

118. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.”- Bob Hope

119. “Having lots of siblings is like having built-in best friends.” – Kim Kardashian

120. “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa