110 Hilarious Mexican Jokes

Mexico is one of the greatest countries in the world. The people, the culture, and the landscape are rich with history, with the Mexicans having contributed much to Western society. They are also the nation that hangs up paper mache donkeys at kid’s parties and hit the shit out of them with baseball bats. Mexicans also enjoy taking the mickey out of each other, which is why there are so many hilarious Mexican jokes floating around the internet. 

We’ve collected together our favorite funny Mexican jokes that reference everything from Taco Bell and Mexico City to Mexican prison and nachos. The Mexican jokes listed here are also all in good spirit and are not meant to be offensive. We hope you find these Mexican jokes as funny as we do.

100 Hilarious Mexican Jokes

1. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos… poof. He disappears without a tres.

2. Reading in Mexico is not very interesting because there are no books. Only Manuels.

3. Two Mexicans are talking while waiting for the bus. The bus arrives so one says to the other “we should TACOn the bus.”

4. Why do Mexicans watch Netflix? They want to Netflix and chili. 

5. What are the chances a Mexican will cross the border legally? Juan in a million. 

6. What did the Mexican doctor tell his patient? Be ready for a different Día de los Muertos this year.

7. How do Mexicans pay taxes? With a piñatax.

8. What do you call a spider piñata? Piñatarantula.

9. Do you know the best Mexican songs of all time? “Baby Juan More Time,” “Another Juan Bites the Dust,” “Taco Chance on Me,” and “Some Juan to Love.”

10. What did one burrito say to the other on the dance floor? “Let’s salsa together!”

11. How is a dyslexic Mexican called? Dysmexic.

12. Why did the Mexican install a mousetrap? Tequila mouse.

13. What do Mexican prisons serve the inmates who are to be hanged? Pico de gallo-ws.

14. Who is the richest Mexican? Jeff Pezos.

15. What do you call a Mexican spy? Agent GarCIA.

16. Why do Mexicans never win gold at the Olympics? Because everyone who knows how to jump, run and swim has already made it to the United States.

17. What is a burrito image with bad resolution? A blurrito.

18. Mexicans love the Star Wars movies. Their favorite characters are Obi Juan Kenobi and Juan Solo.

19. What Greek God exists in Mexican culture? ChilAquiles.

20. Why did New Mexico disband its water polo team? All the horses drowned.

21. What did the Mexican say to the house that just fell on him? Get off me home’s.

22.  A robot’s favorite Mexican food is a Silicon Carne.

23. What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto.

24. How do Mexican scientists measure matter? In moles.

25. What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Hose B.

26. How do Mexicans sneeze? Quetzalquotle.

27. What is 6.022 x 10²³ in Mexico? The Avocado number.

28. How do Mexicans solve relationship problems? They taco-bout it.

29. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had loco motives.

30. There is a big Mexican party tonight and every Juan is going.

31. Why does the tortilla chip always beat the potato chip in a debate? The tortilla chip has a point.

32. How do Mexicans drink soda? In MexiCANS.

33. This Mexican woman kept talking to me. But I told her “I’m nacho friend.”

34. Why did the Mexican man shoot his wife? Te-quil-a.

35. Why is Mexican ice cream spicy? Because it was chili in the freezer.

36. How do you pay in Mexican stores? In MexiCASH.

37. What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph. Because he’s not as big as an “essay.”

38. How do you discuss something with a Mexican? You TACO-ver it.

39. What is the most positive Mexican city? WE CANcun.

40. One Mexican is worried his girlfriend doesn’t answer so his friend tells him “Stop being all jalapeño head about this.”

41. I wanted to visit my Mexican friend, but when I knocked on his door, no Juan was there.

42. What is a Mexican slut called? María Hoesé.

43. What is the best transportation in Mexico? In MexiCAR.

44. What’s the difference between a French person and a Mexican person? French say Oh lá lá, Mexicans say just Hola.

45. Never play UNO with a Mexican. They hoard all the green cards.

46. What is the difference between Jesus and a Mexican?  Jesus doesn’t have a tattoo of a Mexican.

47. What do you say to a nosey Mexican? That’s Nacho business.

48. In what part of Mexico do kangaroos live? Cancunroo.

49. What is the best way to pay in Mexico? With a Juan-time payment.

50. Mexican and black jokes are pretty much the same. When you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.

51. What do burritos ask when they meet after a long time? “Hey, how have you bean?”

52. How do Mexicans laugh? Hahahalapeños.

53. What’s a Mexicans favorite bookstore? Borders.

54. How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her university professor told her to do an essay. 

55. Why you can’t trust a taco chef? Because they will spill the beans.

56. How do you know when a Mexican is being nosey? When he starts getting jalapeño business.

57. Who is every Mexicans favorite Disney princess? Taco Belle.

58. Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? Because it gives them something to unwrap.

59. What did the happy burrito say to the sad burrito? “Take it cheesy, man!”

60. Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots? Because it makes it a lot easier to climb over a fence.

61. What is the Mexican’s favorite 90s band? Red Hot Chili Peppers.

62. How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan.

63. What’s the difference between American hot dogs and Mexican hot dogs? Americans make hot dogs, Mexicans chili dogs.

64. Why don’t Mexicans like high places? They have vertaco.

65. How can you tell if a Mexican is racist? He joined the que-que-que.

66. Two Mexicans are hiding a dead body when they find that place is already used. One of them finds another spot “We should burrito-ver there.”

67. What do you call four Mexicans stuck in quicksand? Quatro sink-o.

68. Name three Mexican bands: Juan Direction, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Twenty Juan pilots.

69. Why do Mexicans keep wheels of chees in the back of their trucks? In queso emergencies.

70. Best Mexican Dj: Avichili.

71. What is the name of the Mexican Mac & Cheese version? Mac & Chili.

72. At what sport are Mexicans best? Border crossing.

73. How do you get an ambulance in Mexico? Call Nine-Juan-Juan.

74. The Spider-Man character Mary Jane is inspired by Mexico.

75. What’s a Mexicans favorite classic novel? Te-quil-a Mockingbird.

76. How did you know she was Mexican? Chili-terally told me she is?

77. What is the name of Nintendo’s Animal Crossing in Mexico? Border Crossing.

78. What do you call a Mexican quarterback? El Passo.

79. Why did the Mexican sign up for Tinder? He was looking for a Juan-night stand.

80. What do you call a Mexican without a car? Carlos.

81. Why do Mexican phones smell like cheese? They use phone quesadillas instead of phone cases.

82. What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.

83. I participated in a car race in Mexico. My Carlos.

84. Why did the Mexican give you his number? So you can taco-ver the phone.

85. I went to see a soccer match in Mexico. It ended Juan to Juan.

86. What is Shakira’s most famous song in Mexico? Waka Waka-mole.

87. The best pop girl group song in Mexico is “Tijuana be my lover” by the Spice Girls.

88. Why do Mexicans put a Justin Bieber photo in their quesadilla? Just-in queso.

89. What do you call a Mexican old man? Señor Citizen.

90. I traveled to Mexico in a boat. It was a Vera-Cruise.

91. What do Mexican marines say to their superiors? Si señor.

92. I’m decided to visit Mexico before I die. I’ll go Juan way or another.

93. What do Mexicans say when it is cold? Brrr-itos.

94. A Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says he is the only Juan.

95. There is a Mexican party. EveryJuan will be there.

96. The best part of the Mexican zoo is the penJuans.

97. My burrito friend, who lived next door, passed away last night. I still can’t wrap my head around it.

98. This Mexican eatery is awesome. It’s nachos another restaurant.

99. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of Juan on Juan.

100. Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? Because the sign says No Tres passing.

101. What’s a Mexican’s least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.

102. My Mexican girlfriend makes delicious quesadillas. Cheese a great cook.

103. Why do Mexicans envy chicken? Because the chicken can cross the border.

104. What do you call a Mexican Baptism? Bean Dip.

105. What is the Aztec’s favorite sauce? Mayannaise.

106. Why couldn’t the Mexican actor get a role in the movie? The drug dealer was already taken.

107. What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight? Alien vs Preditor.

108. How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? They’ll get over it.

109. We could make a road trip to Mexico, you avocadon’t you?

110. A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says “We are in Germany.” The others ask, “How do you know,” the German says, “Because it’s so cold.”

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says “We are in Australia,” the others ask “How do you know,” he replies “Because it’s so warm.”

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says ” We are in Mexico,” the others ask “How do you know,” he says ” Because my watch is gone.”