82 Funny Roses Are Red Poems That Will Have You Cracking Up
Valentine’s Day is here once again and that means chocolates, flowers, and funny roses are red poems. These hilarious poems have been around since the 16th century, with the first believed to have been written by Edmund Spenser as part of his epic poem The Faerie Queene, dating back to 1590.
Since then it has been changed and updated over the years, with Joseph Johnson writing a modern version in 1784s Gammer Gurton’s Garland and Victor Hugo taking a stab at his own version in his 1862 novel Les Misérables.
These days most roses are red poems are funny or silly rhyming verses that make for great Valentine’s Day messages. They are sure to give your partner a few laughs while showing you still care. But you don’t have to just save them for V-Day. These hilarious poems can be used all year round and sent to friends, family, or that special someone.
What makes them great is how there are so many different ways you can write a roses are red poem. They aren’t just romance poems for your partner, but can be weird, witty, and downright risque! They make for a great addition to any type of birthday or Valentine’s Day card and are just as fun to send as a message. You can even try using them on dating apps, just be careful which poem you choose.
To show you how varied these poems are, we have selected some of the funniest that you can share with your loved ones and have a laugh over.
1. Roses are red, violets are blue, you snore like a bear, but I’m still into you.
2. Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not bloody blue.
3. Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.
4. Roses are red, the earth is wide, you’d look much better with me by your side.
5. Roses are red, violets are yellow, I’m hoping this poem will get me a fellow.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, who is your daddy, and what does he do?
7. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m using my hand, but thinking of you.
8. Roses are blue, and violets are red, please reverse what I just said.
9. Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, but forgot about you.
10. Roses are red, violets are blue, please get out of my bed, seriously who are you?
11. Roses are red, pizza is too, I ordered a large, but none is for you.
12. Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in a zoo.
13. Roses are red, violets are blue, your dong is massive, I want to blow you.
14. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty, just like your head.
15. Roses are red, violets are too, I’m colorblind, what about you?
16. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather be single, than with someone like you.
17. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a cougar, how old are you?
18. Roses are red, the earth is wide, you’d look much better with me by your side.
19. Roses are red, the sun is shining, but my mental health is rapidly declining.
20. Roses are red, violets are blue, I am obsessed, and I’m stalking you!
21. Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
22. Roses are red, violets are blue, white wine costs less than a dinner for two.
23. Roses are red violets are blue you’re a psycho but I still love you.
24. Roses are red, chocolates are brown, I expected nothing, but you still let me down.
25. Roses are red, violets are blue, coffee is bitter, and so are you.
26. Roses are red violets are blue, I hate poetry but I’m into you.
27. Roses are red, violets are blue, but I wouldn’t know, I don’t get them from you.
28. Roses are red, violets are blue, so are your balls, because I won’t fuck you.
29. Roses are red, violets are glorious, never surprise Oscar Pistorious.
30. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.
31. Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to order pizza, And watch Netflix with you.
32. Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re a man, I’m a woman, You know what to do!
33. Roses are red, violets are blue, I can’t rhyme, banana.
34. Roses are red, ignorance is bliss, rhyming is hard, show me your tits.
35. Roses are red, violets are blue, these jokes are getting old, and so are you.
36. Roses are red, violets are blue, I love you, let’s go screw.
37. Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow, I bet you were expecting something romantic but no, these are just gardening facts.
38. Roses are okay, violets are fine, you be the 6, and I’ll be the 9.
39. Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating too.
40. Roses are blue, violets are red, I’m no good at colours, but I’m brilliant in bed.
41. Roses are red, violets are blue, there’s always someone, who’s better than you.
42. Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I saw you.”
43. Roses are red, hey come from seed, poetry is boring, let’s smoke some weed.
44. Roses are red, violets are blue, I am the senate, and the emperor too.
45. Roses are red, cellos are brown, never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.”
46. Roses are red violets are blue, please keep your flowers and your poems too.
47. Roses are red, violets are blue, one ripped condom, created you.
48. Roses are red, violets are blue, your phone is smart, so why aren’t you?
49. Roses are red, Jedi play tricks, execute Order 66
50. Roses are red, so is the state. Will you be my comrade, because you are great?
51. Roses are red, lilies are white, having butt sex is a cheeky delight.
52. Roses are red, relationships are tough, the reason I love you, is we hate the same stuff.
53. Roses are red, wine is red, I like wine, wine.
54. Roses are red, violets are blue, it’s gonna take dental records to identify you.
55. Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone.
56. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m unoriginal, this is all I can do.
57. Roses are red, true love is rare, booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere.
58. Roses are red, violets are blue, I really messed up, now what can I do?
59. Roses are red, the sky is quite blue, I thought I had farted, it was actually a poo.
60. Roses are red, and violets are blue, they smell nice, unlike you.
61. Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, and feel the power.
62. Roses are red, and violets are blue, you always say you are cute, but not in my view.
63. Roses are red, I love the smell of wine, please wash your butt, before we sixty-nine.
64. Roses are red, relationships are tough; the reason I love you, is ’cause we hate the same stuff.
65. Roses are red, and violets are blue, your spaghetti is overcooked, it sticks like glue.
66. Roses are red… Fuck the rest of this and get in my bed!
67. Roses are red, violets are blue, cows are moo, what about you?
68. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a bat, get in the van.
69. Roses are red, violets are blue, pros use Gmail, nerds use Yahoo.
70. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now you do too.
71. Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, can I touch it forever?
72. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar makes me sick, and so do you.
73. Roses are red, violets are blue, you are nothing but a Panda, If you don’t know Kung Fu.
74. Roses are red, violets are blue, “What comes first? egg or chicken?”, “Sorry sir, I don’t have a clue.”
75. Roses are red, violets are blue, you ruined my life, I’m coming after you.
76. Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate poetry, but I’m into you.
77. Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re quite hot, I wanna do things to you.
78. Roses are red, violets are blue, toilet paper is white, but not when you’re through.”
79. Roses are red, violets are blue, though these are dark times, we will pull through.
80. Roses are red, apples are too, violets are purple, not fucking blue.
81. Roses are red, violets are blue, happy Mother’s Day Mom! Sorry you didn’t give birth to a poet who could rhyme!
82. Roses are red, violets are blue, poems are hard, and I am too.
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