12 Tips To Help You When Dating a Divorced Woman

When dating in the modern world you will meet all sorts of people from varying backgrounds. Everyone has their own story to tell and has been through a variety of challenges and experiences that have led them to their current situation. One such thing that many millennials have faced is the unfortunate collapse of a marriage. While divorce rates have slightly declined during the pandemic years, with fewer people getting married, throughout the 00s they have been higher than ever. This means there is more chance of dating a divorced woman than ever before.

This isn’t a bad thing, it is just part and parcel of dating. Sometimes relationships just don’t last. There are a number of factors why people struggle to stay together, but at the end of the day, if things aren’t working out there is nothing wrong with walking away. I’m not here to judge. But this has resulted in the dating pool becoming home to a larger number of divorced men and women.

While dating a divorced person isn’t fundamentally any different from dating a person who has never been married, there are a few things you should be aware of. Entering a relationship with someone who has been divorced does offer a whole host of new relationships challenges. She may be slightly untrusting and less likely to let her guard down due to her marriage dissolving badly. Or maybe she has a couple of kids that you have to take into account. Whatever the case, you shouldn’t let these things stop you from making a connection if you have feelings for this woman. You can work through these things and have a successful and happy relationship.

If you are worried about dating a divorced woman, I’m here to tell you it is all good. To help you out, here are some tips and things to be aware of so you can work through any issues and form a long-lasting connection.

1. Be Prepared for Baggage

No matter what stage you are at in life or how many relationships you have had, there is no doubt you will have some baggage. This varies from person to person depending on how your relationships have panned out. When dating a divorced woman you have to be prepared for some extra baggage. A marriage breakdown is a big deal, and depending on how it went, your new lady might have been impacted negatively by the whole experience.

If her partner cheated on her she may have some trust issues. Or she might have a couple of kids you have to take into account. These are just two of many examples of the type of baggage your new partner could have. But this is no reason to throw away what could be an incredible relationship. I’m sure you have a few issues from your past also. You just have to be prepared to work with your partner through these things and support her and be there for her.

2. Understand Her Needs

Following on from the previous paragraphs, makes sure you know what she needs mentally, emotionally, and physically from you. If she has trust issues be prepared to put in the work to prove to her that she has nothing to worry about when it comes to you and other women. Support her and be there for her. Likewise, if she suffered from domestic violence she may not be ready to get intimate or want you touching her. Be patient and keep supporting her.

Don’t judge her or tell her “things will be ok.” She may have been through some shit you can only dream about, so act accordingly. Be honest and open with her and show her you can be trusted. If you don’t think you can do any of this, maybe dating a divorced woman isn’t for you.

3. Reassure Her of Your Intentions

If she went through a tough divorce she might not have great self-esteem or lack trust. To help show her you are serious, reassure her that you have the right intentions and are not just looking to get laid. Make sure she understands you aren’t going to take advantage of her vulnerability or the situation she is in. Keep an open dialogue and always be prepared to discuss how she is feeling or any concerns she has.

You shouldn’t have to be trying to convince her that you are sticking around, but by making subtle gestures here and there and talking things through with her, she will understand that you take the relationship and her seriously.

4. Support Her

Being there for her when she needs you is one of the most important things you can do. To be honest, no matter whether your partner is divorced or not, being supportive is a must. This also goes to all aspects of her life. Support her job and celebrate her achievements. If she is a mom, help her out when she needs it, and be sure to praise her for doing a fantastic job. Emotional support is also a big factor in any relationship. Talk about your feelings and process your experiences together and help fulfill her needs.

If you are there when she needs you, there is no doubt she will do the same when you are facing tough times. Being supportive of each other is a key to any successful relationship. It will strengthen your bond and make your love for each other even greater.

5. Don’t Play Games

This is something that goes for all relationships, especially those involving divorced women. If she suffered from a traumatizing breakup, the last thing she needs is a mug like you taking advantage of her. If you are just looking for fuck, look elsewhere (unless she is also after the same thing). Leading someone on just so you can get laid is a horrible thing to do.

If the responsibilities that come with dating a divorced woman are too much for you, then don’t keep seeing her. Put a stop to the relationship before things get physical. Don’t mess around with her emotions. Be sincere and generous with your time. Honesty is the best policy.

6. Accept Her Children

There is a strong chance that if you are dating a divorced woman she will have kids. This is certainly something you have to be prepared for and happy to take on. While she will no doubt shield them from you at first, eventually as your partnership grows you will meet them. That doesn’t mean you are going to be their new dad, but you will have to spend time with them and try and form a bond. That is a whole other topic you can find some useful information about here.

What you will have to understand is that her kids come first. This means that spontaneous mid-week catches up aren’t going to be on the cards. You will also have to be prepared for last-minute cancellations if one of the kids gets sick or a problem arises. This requires patience and understanding.

If you have kids yourself then you will know what it is like and be able to relate. This is something you share in common and could help solidify your relationship.

The main thing is you understand her kids come first, and when you eventually become part of their lives, you do your best to accommodate them and bond with them, understanding you are not a replacement father but another support system for them.

7. Give Her Space

Everyone needs a little space at times. Life can be quite full-on and every now and then it is nice just to have some time to yourself. This is especially true if the woman you are dating has kids. Between work, looking after her kids, and trying to juggle a social life, there will be moments when she doesn’t have time to see you. Or it could be that her week has been super chaotic and she wants to postpone your date to the next week.

Be prepared for these types of things to come out when dating a divorced woman. She has a lot on her plate that is more important than you. Allow her the space to have time to herself or sort out other things she has going on in her life. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to see you, it’s just that she has other priorities. This will slowly change as you begin to spend more and more time together.

8. Don’t Ask About Her Ex

At some point, she will bring up her previous relationship, but when she does that is totally up to her. You have no idea what happened and she doesn’t need to tell you anything until she is comfortable. So you shouldn’t assume anything about her or her ex and let the conversation naturally flow until the talk of her marriage breakdown and the previous partner comes up.

If she had a bad break up it could trigger negative emotions and bring up issues she is still working through. You don’t want to be insensitive and should leave talk of her ex alone until she is ready. When you do eventually get around to it, be sure to listen and take everything in. Don’t judge her or offer your ‘expert’ opinion. Be supportive and show compassion. If she is opening up to you about the breakdown of her marriage she obviously feels she can trust you, so be sure to show her that her trust isn’t misplaced.

9. Be Patient When It Comes To Intimacy

By intimacy, we mean sex. A divorce can often be a traumatic experience for some, and this can impact how they interact with other potential partners. It can damage their self-confidence and self-esteem while also putting them off from sexual intercourse. This goes for both men and women.

So don’t expect to be jumping in the sack after the first date. While it might only take a few dates before she is ready to get hot and sweaty, there is also the chance it might not be until date eight or 10. Be patient and focus on building a connection.

When it does come to finally make love, don’t rush things. Take it slow and be aware of your surroundings. Listen to what she wants and be sure to make her feel safe. Don’t go trying anything outrageous or bringing up your kinks. There will be plenty of time for that. The first time should be all about her and making her feel comfortable and loved.

10. Be Attentive

Be present when you are with her. Listen to what she has to say and take it on board. Look her in the eyes. Hold her hand when she is talking about something serious. Don’t interrupt her. Wait until she has finished speaking before you give your two cents. All of these things make up what it is to be attentive. If you show her you can listen and pay attention she will open up to you more and be vulnerable, helping form a greater connection.

Being attentive also extends to asking her questions about things she has previously mentioned in her life. She might have gone to see her divorce lawyer to sort out some things. Ask her how that went. Maybe one of her kids was sick the previous time you talked. Ask how they are doing. These are small gestures that show you are invested in her life and how much you care for her.

11. Be Empathetic, Not Sympathetic

The worst thing you can do is be sympathetic towards your date. She will feel like you are taking pity on her and maybe only dating her because you feel sorry for what she has been through. That is why you should empathize with her struggles and what she has been through. When talking about her divorce listen to what she has to say and support her. Don’t start offering your opinion or feel sad for her. Understand what she has been through and see things from her perspective.

She will be more receptive to you and see that you genuinely want to hear what she has to say and respect the decisions she has made in her life. This will help grow your bond and be a benefit for your relationship moving forward.

12. Make Dating Fun

Even if her divorce was relatively amicable, it is still a rather big event in her life that isn’t what you would call a good laugh. So when you start dating make sure things are light and fun. You want to take her mind off the divorce and put the focus on you and her and having a good time. Be funny and don’t get too serious with your initial conversation. You could even organize an activity, such as bowling or going to an art gallery. This is a great way to switch things up from the standard drink at your local bar and shows you are fun and open to new experiences. This will also help her relax and feel more comfortable in your presence.

Conclusion

While there are a number of things to take into account when dating a divorced woman, most of the advice given can be applied to any relationship. All you need to be is a decent guy who is open and honest and happy to listen and learn. While there might be a few hurdles to overcome, if you truly see your future with the other person, you will do all you can to make it work.