15 Things To Know When Dating an Independent Woman
Dating an independent woman might sound like a challenge, but independence is actually a great asset to any relationship. While she is likely to want to spend some of her free time without you, independent women have many great qualities. They are strong-willed, direct, and successful. They are also super fun to be around.
If you aren’t used to dating an independent woman it can be a little bit of a shock. While she no doubt has feelings for you and loves your company, she also doesn’t need a man in her life. She wants someone who will complement her way of life, not complicate it. As cliched as it sounds, an independent woman is strong and confident in herself and this can be quite daunting for some men who aren’t used to this.
But you shouldn’t throw away what could be something special because your partner is fiercely independent. You should acknowledge this trait and help foster it by supporting her and letting her live her own life. It will strengthen your bond and make both of you appreciate each other more when you are together. If you are struggling to come to terms with how to make it work, here is a list of tips and things to know when dating an independent woman that can help your relationship flourish.
1. Find Out What She Wants
Right from the very start, find out what she is after. This doesn’t mean you have to ask her straight out if she wants to get married and have kids, but talk about where you see the two of you heading. Discuss her wants and needs and see if you are on the same page. Likewise, be sure to tell her if you just want something casual or you think there is a chance of a relationship. As an independent woman, she won’t have time to be messing around with someone who is unsure of what they are after. By speaking about her needs as well as yours, you won’t be wasting anyone’s time. She will be much more appreciative if you are open and honest from the get-go.
One of the biggest things you will have to get used to is compromising with your partner. While every relationship involves some form of compromise, you might find you have to meet each other halfway more than you are used to. Your partner is probably going to want a lot more freedom than you are used to and this will mean you have to be ready to compromise on a variety of issues.
She might spend her Sundays doing her own thing and just because you are in her life doesn’t mean she is going to stop that. Allow her the freedom to continue to live her life independently from you. But remember that it works both ways and be sure she is making compromises for you also. If you can find a middle ground then you are already on your way to a successful relationship.
3. Embrace Your Freedom
Your partner is going to want to enjoy her own life away from you. She will want to do her own thing without having to worry about you being upset or bothered. As this means you will have a fair bit of time on your hands, you should embrace this freedom and enjoy it.
This allows you to pursue things your partner might not be keen on and gives you time to yourself to do as you please. Spend more time with your family and friends and keep those relationships strong. If you give her the space she needs she will not only be a happier person, but it could lead her to start missing you more. While she will always be independent, she might want to do more things together and less by herself.
4. Chivalry Isn’t Dead
Just because she is independent doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to treat her with respect and do the little things to make her feel great. Prove to her that chivalry isn’t dead by making small gestures such as opening doors for her, giving her your jacket when it is cold, and complimenting her on the way she looks. Be a nice and decent guy and let her know you care.
Depending on how independent she is, your partner might not want you to always be doing these types of gestures. If that is the case she will most likely let you know, but if you are unsure, ask her. Communicating is the key to making sure she is cool with the way you treat her and act around her.
5. Don’t Play Games
Regardless of whether you are dating someone who is independent or not, you shouldn’t be playing games. It is not fair to the person if you are leading them on. If you try this with a woman who enjoys her freedom it probably won’t end well for you. An independent woman has little time for someone who isn’t committed. They want someone who can compliment their life, and if you don’t fit the bill they will drop you quicker than a punch from Tyson Fury.
She will be able to see through your lies and quickly tell if you are serious about spending time with her or not. She isn’t going to waste what free time she does have hanging out with someone who isn’t giving it their all. So if you aren’t that keen, don’t even try and pursue an independent woman. She will eat you alive and spit you out in no time.
6. Mansplaining Isn’t Cool
If you want to piss her off start mansplaining. You will quickly find the relationship ending sooner than it began. For those not in the know, Urban Dictionary explains mansplaining as; “When a man explains something to a woman in a patronizing tone as if the woman is too emotional and illogical to understand.”
From that description alone it is easy to see why an independent woman would have no time for a guy who speaks like that. Don’t go making her feel underappreciated and useless by offering your help without her asking for it or telling her you know how to do things better. For example, if she is putting together some furniture, don’t walk in and start telling her what she is doing wrong and try and take over and show her how she should be doing it. Ask if she needs any help and leave it at that. If she says yes, do what you can to help, but if she says no, respect her decision and let her get on with it alone.
Remember, she has got this far in life without your help before, so she can probably continue to get by without it.
7. Don’t Get Jealous
While being jealous in a relationship can be healthy, it can also cause major issues, especially when it comes to dating an independent woman. She is less likely to put up with any shit, especially if you start asking her questions about who she was hanging out with and what she was doing all the time.
Independent people have friends from all walks of life, both male and female, and have no time for a partner who will get jealous of this. You have to trust her and be confident in your relationship. Don’t let the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head and come between you both. It will only cause problems and quickly cause a breakdown in your partnership.
8. Express Your Support
As independent people are happy on their own, when they decide they want a partner, it is so they can have someone to share moments of their life with. They don’t need a provider. They want someone who will support them in their endeavors and goals. Gone are the days when the man had to be the main breadwinner and act as a protector. There are just as many women making the big bucks. What an independent woman wants is a man who will be by her side through thick and thin. She wants a man who will support her through all the bad times and enjoy her successes. The best way you can do is just be there for her and offer unconditional support.
9. Respect Is a Two Way Street
Respect is a big part of any relationship, so make sure she is showing you the same courtesy you are showing her. Just because she is independent and used to doing things her way doesn’t mean she should neglect your feelings and make you feel like shit. You are both in the relationship together and need to show each other the same level of respect. If you are happy letting her do her own thing but she gets cranky when you want to hang with the boys, that’s not fair and shows she doesn’t respect you or the relationship. Similarly, if you go somewhere together but then she spends the whole evening ignoring you and doing her own thing, that isn’t right. You have to make sure she is taking your feelings into account and not taking advantage of your respect towards her.
10. Be Aware of Her Beliefs
This doesn’t necessarily mean her religious views, but her overall take on life and the things she believes in. As someone who is independent, she has no doubt formed her own belief system and moral code over her journey and it is unlikely you will be able to change that. Be aware of what she believes in and her opinions on major topics that impact your life, as they might not line up with yours. Now, these could just be small things, like her being a vegan and you still eating meat. You can work this out. But say she follows a completely different religion or has strong political views that are completely different from your way of thinking. This could cause problems moving forward, so be aware of principles and make sure you can both live harmoniously despite your differing views.
11. Don’t Try and Change Her
If you do find that you have differing views on things, don’t try and change hers. It isn’t going to work. She has formed these beliefs and principles over many years and doesn’t need you trying to change that. The same goes for her way of life. You can’t stop her from being independent. If she likes traveling solo or doing things without you, don’t expect her to suddenly stop because you don’t like it. She would rather ditch you than change her lifestyle. You have to understand what you are getting into from the beginning.
All you can do is support her and let her know you love the way she is. It might cause some tension here and there and take time to adjust to her way of life, but if you respect her for who she is, she will do the same.
12. Share Decisions
In many of your previous relationships, you have most likely taken the lead when it comes to making decisions. Whether that was choosing what to order for dinner or handling the finances, men are often pegged with the role of the main decision-maker. This will change when dating an independent woman. She will want to have just as much say as you do. It won’t go down well if you continue to be the one making all the decisions. Now, this could cause some tension initially, especially if you are used to being the one in charge all the time, but it really is a positive. It means you both have an equal footing in the relationship and fosters more respect. You will be more aware of what she actually thinks and wants, whereas past girlfriends might have just gone along with what you wanted because it was easy.
Just be careful not to let her take over the decision-making process. While you might think it is easy to let her make all the decisions, it shows she doesn’t respect you as much as she should. It also makes you look like you have low confidence. You should both be making decisions equally.
13. Don’t Suffocate Her
The last thing she wants is a stage 5 clinger. Don’t be that guy who is endlessly texting her and always trying to hang out with her. She won’t respond well to this sort of treatment. Just because she doesn’t get back to your first text within 15 minutes doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. She is probably busy. She will hit you up when she has some free time. You have to allow her the freedom to live her own life without her having to worry about you always being in the background being needy.
Bombarding her with texts and calls will only drive her away. Give her space and she will give you the respect you deserve and make plans to hang with you when she can. If things go well she will eventually include you in her life more and more while still maintaining enough independence to suit her way of life.
14. Plan Around Her Life
Similar to dating a divorced woman, an independent woman has a lot going on in her life. You can’t expect her to drop everything and see you when you want. You will have to plan things in advance and work around her schedule. While she does have more flexibility, during your initial dating phase she won’t have as much room for you in her life. Once you have more of a connection it will become more of a two-way street, but at first, be prepared to plan around her life.
15. It Might Take Time
Be prepared to put in the hard yards. An independent woman won’t jump into a relationship with you after a couple of dates. It will take time for her to come around to you and have someone in her life. You will need to impress her and make her feel like you can make her life better. She needs to know you can add value to her life. You shouldn’t treat her any different from anyone else you have dated, but just be aware that it could be a while before she finally drops her guard and lets you in. It will be well worth it when she does though.
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