20 Things That Instantly Turn Women Off in Dating

When you first start dating someone you want to do all you can to impress them. You dress well, speak eloquently, and make sure she feels safe and comfortable around you. Listening to her conversation and being present are also keys to forming a relationship with your date. But while you are doing all you can to put your best foot forward, there’s also a chance you might say or do something that irritates her. Foot in mouth is a common disease that affects everyone, but you don’t want to be saying something out of line on your first couple of dates. It might be a small quirk that she can get used to or maybe it is a giant red flag that singles you out as someone she should not be dating? If it is the latter you might find yourself in trouble. So what turns a woman off in a relationship?

Like most things in life, this is subjective, but there are several things you should not be doing if you want to form a connection with your date. If you are really serious about wanting to see more of her and grow together, here are 20 things to avoid during your courtship.

1. Talking About Yourself

Who doesn’t like discussing the good things about themselves? This can become a problem when the conversation always leads back to you. If you are chatting away and always find yourself mentioning things you have done or experiences you have had, maybe it is time to step back and look at the whole picture.

Sure, you need to talk about yourself when getting to know someone, but that doesn’t give you the right to bore your date to death with your stories of traveling to Vegas with the boys or the history of your favorite sports teams. Ask her questions about her likes and dislikes and listen. Stop your endless stream of words to take in what she is saying and let her speak on things. Nobody wants to date a self-obsessed wanker.

2. Being Negative

This can come across in the way you act or speak. If you sit with your arms folded and a scowl on your face, you aren’t really offering an open and positive vibe. Women can pick up on this and will remember how standoffish you were.

Also don’t spend your time talking negatively about things, especially family and friends. Nobody has time to listen to you moan about your brother who is the golden child or your cousin’s gambling addiction. This reflects your attitude and will make your date wonder what else in your life you despise. It creates negative energy and this will surely be a put-off for your date.

3. Not Being Present

There is nothing worse than talking with someone and you can tell they aren’t listening or are distracted by things going on around you. So just imagine how annoyed your date feels if you act like this. Be present in the moment and focus all your attention on her. Look into her eyes when talking and gesture in agreeance or show your displeasure if you don’t agree. Even if you aren’t feeling the date, be courteous and engage in conversation and try and have a good time. You can still chat and have a laugh with someone even if you don’t feel a vibe.

4. Being Cheap

If you are the type of guy who likes to split the bill or keep track of who is drinking what, stop right now. No woman wants to date a cheapskate. That doesn’t mean you have to splash the cash like you are some kind of millionaire, but there is nothing wrong with picking up the bill yourself.

If you happily pay for the first round she is more likely to pay for the second. The same goes for dinner. If the date goes well and you pay, next time she might offer to look after things. Occasionally there are women who will take advantage of a man who pays and expect this all the time, but for the most part, picking up the tab the first time around won’t cause you any drama.

5. Talking a Big Game

There is nothing worse than someone who thinks they are bee’s knees and needs to tell everyone. These are the types of jokers who are always talking about how big their bank account is or how many homes they own or the luxury yacht they recently purchased. Most of these men are compensating for other areas in their life where they struggle and more often than not end up making themselves appear better than they really are. They have a tendency to overexaggerate things to make themselves seem much more of a catch than they really are.

For some reason, men think women want a guy who is loaded when in fact they just want you to be a decent guy who will love and cherish them. Women can easily see through any lies you might be telling and won’t stick around if you talk a big game but never follow through.

6. Being Rude

Hopefully, your parents taught you good manners as a youngster because if they didn’t you could be in for a world of pain. Being rude doesn’t just apply to your date. Obviously, you want to treat her with respect by doing all the standard things, like letting her speak without interrupting her, not talking down to her or mansplaining, listening to what she is saying, etc. But this should also apply to the people around you. The way you treat a waiter or barman says a lot about you as a person. If you can’t show them the same respect you do your date, then you need to take a good hard look at yourself.

7. Chauvinistic Behavior

Don’t act like a dick. Chauvinistic behavior can cover a lot of things, from mansplaining and being misogynistic to sex talk and treating your date like she is less than you. At their core, chauvinistic men think their gender is far superior to the opposite sex, which we know is not the case. They often display aggressive behavior, are loud and crass, and don’t care too much for what women have to say.

If you are chauvinistic it would be a surprise you even managed to get a date in the first place. If that is the case, your lady will quickly realize their mistake and send you packing.

8. Being Ignored

Women often judge men on the way they react to certain situations. If she tells you something important or expresses an opinion and you wave it away like she has no idea what she is talking about, chances are you won’t be getting a second date. Believing what you have to say is always more important is not a positive trait. Showing interest in what she has to say is a must and something that needs to continue through the relationship. It is very easy to be attentive at the start when things are new and exciting and then slowly become less involved. Women pick up on this so don’t think you can get away with it.

9. Going for Cheap Laughs

Everybody loves a funny guy, but make sure your jokes are not at the expense of others There is nothing funny about putting down strangers or demeaning other people to get a cheap laugh. While it is scientifically proven that women love a funny man, there is a way to go about this. There are certain subjects that are off-limit and should be avoided.

Let’s be honest, if you are only funny because you put others down, or worse, your date, you really are not a humorous person. This is mean-spirited and your date will see right through you.

10. Treating Her Like a Sex Object

No matter how attracted you are to her, don’t spend the entire date logging her chest or staring at her behind. Nobody likes a creep. Keep your urges to yourself and act like a civilized man. Also, stay away from any sex talk. She doesn’t want to hear your disgusting sex stories, especially if it is the first date. Of course, if she is the one who brings it up and asks you, then that’s cool as you are both on the same page, but don’t go speaking about your dirty stories or cracking sex jokes right off the bat.

 

11. Being Selfish In Bed

If you have managed to successfully navigate a few dates and are now having a sexual relationship, be sure to be on your best behavior. While the first time you have sex can often be a clumsy experience, once you get that out the way you should be confident in your abilities to please your new lady friend.

Remember that sex isn’t all about you. Just because you have finished doesn’t mean she necessarily has. Don’t be a selfish lover. Make sure you pleasure her and help her get to climax. If this means she might need to introduce a toy, that’s cool too. Don’t that as a swipe at your manhood. Some women need extra stimulation that your little fella can’t provide. Just be sure to always attend to her needs before going off half-cocked.

12. Poor Grooming

This should be a given, but there are some men out there who struggle with the concept of deodorant. Grooming applies to your entire look. Make sure your hair is combed and styled. Trim your beard or mustache. Wear deodorant. Splash on some cologne. Cut your nails and be sure to clean your teeth.

First impressions actually do matter so if you rock up looking like you rolled out of bed it probably won’t go down well. Having a shave and washing your hair isn’t really that big of a deal. If you present yourself in an attractive manner there is more chance she will be keen to get to know you more and the date will be a success.

13. Swearing

We all drop the odd f-bomb here and there, but if every second word that comes out of your mouth is a curse word, you might need some elocution lessons. Constant swearing is not an attractive feature and makes you come across as a neanderthal. If you do have to curse, save it for something that is worth it. If you need to make a point or want to drive something home, then drop in a swear, but try to keep it to a minimum.

14. Being on Your Phone

 

 

There is nothing worse than trying to have a conversation with someone and they are constantly on their phone. This is multiped tenfold when on a date with someone. There is no need to be on your phone when you are on a date. If you feel it vibrate ignore it. Your attention should be focused on your date. There will be plenty of time to check your phone when you go to the toilet or after the date. It might be a small thing but it is something that annoys not only women but also men.

15. Talking About Your Ex

This is not something you should be whipping out during the first date. Nobody wants to hear about all the problems you had with your ex. Even if the relationship ended well, your current date doesn’t want to listen to you talk about her when you should be getting to know each other. At some stage, if the dates continue and you get closer you will talk about your ex, but generally stay clear on the first date. It will seem like you aren’t over her which means your current date will most likely send you packing.

16. Getting Feely Touchy

Once you are in a relationship and comfortable with each other, there is nothing wrong with touching your partner. But when you are first starting out, keep your hands to yourself. A hug when you first meet is fine, but anything more is just creepy. Unless she gives you consent, your hands should be kept away from your date. It just sends out bad vibes and makes you look like some kind of sexual predator.

17. Lying

Another obvious one, but you would be surprised by the number of guys who still lie to impress their date. Even white lies are not cool. They eventually lead to bigger lies until you find yourself caught in a web of lies you can’t get out from. Being honest and open, even if it isn’t what she wants to hear, is the best way to be. It might mean the date doesn’t exactly go the way you would have liked, but better to find out now if you aren’t compatible than telling a bunch of lies and getting caught out down the track.

18. Being Needy

Nobody wants a stage five clinger, especially your date. Don’t be that guy texting her multiple times a day when she doesn’t respond to your first text. Give her some space and time. She will get back to you in her own time. Smothering her will only turn her off and make her wonder if you have stalker tendencies. Even if you have been dating for a while, there is no need to get needy. Let her live her life. It doesn’t only revolve around you.

19. Going Silent

This isn’t in reference to not talking on the date, but to taking your time to text. There is a silly rule that you should text your date after three days, commonly referred to as the ‘three-day rule.’ This is utter nonsense. If you enjoyed yourself let her know with a text the next day. Or if you are really keen, send her one on the way home. It is much better to communicate how you think the date went rather than waiting a few days to see how she is. Even worse is ghosting. If you don’t want to see her again, tell her. It is much better when someone lets you know as opposed to not hearing anything at all and being left wondering what went wrong.

20. Unsolicited Dick Pics

No matter how many articles are written about women not wanting unsolicited dick pics, men continue to send them. It doesn’t matter how impressive your cock is, keep it in your pants. If you need more convincing, a study found that 75% of women are turned off by unsolicited dick pics. That’s a fair chunk of the dating pool.

Now I’m not saying you can’t send them if you are both consenting and all is above board, but don’t be shooting them through to someone you’ve just been on a date with. It’s just not cool.