Do you think your grandfather worried about being in the friend zone? No, he was getting more a-s than a toilet seat! Yet, a great deal of modern men today act like slaves; they obsess over women who wish to be worshiped.
Let’s face it; she isn’t “the one,” if she’s not giving you any love back! Period.
Daydream and fantasize all you want, but that’s the d-mn reality.
For most of you gentlemen, that’s a hard pill to swallow. The thought of rejection is going to drain what’s left of your already empty emotional bank account.
You cling onto something you cannot change and get consumed by a false sense of hope. Some of your probably pray at night, imagining she will eventually come around. I wouldn’t even be f-cking surprised!
When it comes to understanding how to get out of the friend zone, there are quite a few things to know. Most of which are going to make you realize how f-cked up you are! If you’re looking for the same feel-good friendly nonsense she gives you, well, then I’m sorry to disappoint. You won’t find vague answers and comfort here!
This guide is for men who aren’t desperate doofuses. You know, the ones who would rather be chased by a woman than to chase them hopelessly.
Why Are You Getting Fixated On Just One Woman?
When there are millions and millions of them f-cking out there!
I don’t want to hear about her being “the perfect gal.” If she was the perfect gal, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. Real-life isn’t like the storybook fairy tales. You’re not going to win her over by fighting off a dragon. And if you do, she’s probably going to sleep with the king because you’re a peasant anyways!
While persistence is a great asset to have, you shouldn’t waste it all on one woman who has no interest in you. The men who do that become stalkers; I shouldn’t even have to tell you that. In reality, persistence reaps far more rewards when you use it on multiple women, not just one! That means, instead of asking out one woman and getting rejected immediately or friend-zoned over time, you ask out a handful.
If you are unable to do that, then you are afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking bigger risks. Period, there is no question about it. The truth is, there’s no risk involved when a woman friend zones you. None! Stop clinging to the easy way, especially when your gut says: this isn’t going to work.
Let’s face it; life is a numbers game; you’ve got to roll the dice if you want to see different results. Much like Albert Einstein, the great theoretical physicist said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Imagine if he had just focused on one failed experiment his entire life, what a tragedy that would have been! The key to understand here is that he wasn’t afraid to fail, learn from his mistakes, and move the f-ck on. Most guys who get friend-zoned today act as if they repeat the process, they’ll somehow see different results. You won’t!
But It’s Not So Cut and Dry with Her
If you think you’re in the friend zone, you’re in the friend zone.
Don’t lie to yourself about it.
Some of you act like just because a woman talked to you, that suddenly she’s going to be your gal.
Look, either she’s attracted to you or she isn’t. For example, when a hot woman walks by you, you know she’s hot. The answer hits you in the face instantly. You don’t need to think about it or second guess yourself. You just know.
Now why in the world would you want to be with a woman who doesn’t feel the same way about you? Or even remotely feel the same way?
Men who ignore that bit above, fool themselves into believing they can change and win her over. But it’s never the right kind of change. It’s like the guy who thinks he can sleep with a woman just because he bought her dinner. Or the man who thinks that sending her flowers or buying her clothes is going to make him instantly attractive in her eyes magically. It’s not!
The reality is, when most men try to change, they become Mr. Nice Guy. They attempt to please her into giving into what they personally want. A significant number of women will only end up taking advantage of that situation. Let’s face it, what woman doesn’t love good company, free dinners, movies, wine, gifts, clothes, compliments, dates and so on? All with no catch! And at the end of the night, she can call over Chad, a real alpha male who isn’t a Mr. Nice, to do finish up the dirty work*. (Of course, some will and some won’t*)
If she’s asking you for dating advice, doesn’t shave before dates, asks to be set up with your friends, doesn’t touch or flirt with you, or any of the oblivious indicators, you’re in friend zone territory. For some you, you need to hear her say things like, “We’re just friends?” or “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.” etc.
If you’re unsure about it, there’s really only one way to stop shooting yourself in the foot.
Be Direct and Initiate
Just because you assume you’re friend-zoned doesn’t always mean you just stop taking action.
Have the balls to actually find out. Some women are simply shy, don’t sleep on the first date, or are introverts. Others aren’t really flirty or in your face about it. But when you take action, women can surprise the hell out you.
Remember, there are all sorts of different types of women out. Even the quietest of them all can be major freaks if you would just initiate and give them a reason to be bold. Understand that physical contact is what separates friends from partners.
Friends, family, and co-workers talk. When you tease and touch, you take things to the next level. It requires risk, something that, unfortunately, many men are afraid to accept.
One way or another, you must find out. If the answer is crystal f-cking clear, move on! Do not focus on things you cannot change.
Cut Her Off, and Perhaps She Will Come Crawling Back
Mr. Nice Guy will gladly give her all of his attention. So much that they drown her in it. Don’t be that guy.
Be man enough to walk away and cut her off.
In other words, get out. 99% of the time, most guys who get friend-zoned are too weak to do so. It becomes so apparent to her. You come running to her at the snap of her fingers. You can’t turn down a request to hang out, text or talk over the phone. You’re always ready to take the call on her time. And chances are she’s not willing to make time for you because she doesn’t even have to! You become a doormat.
Start valuing your time. If she’s adding no value to your life, she’s gone. If she isn’t a part of your goals, romantically speaking, she’s gone. Period! If you are sick and tired of being friend-zoned, then stop allowing it to happen! Move on.
Chances are she will come crawling back (sometimes), and if she doesn’t, who cares? If she wasn’t working out for you before, then what have you really lost? Nothing! There’s a girl out there who’s willing you give you everything you want if you would just take enough risks to actually find her.
It’s a fascinating thing when girls start to wonder, “why wasn’t I good enough for him?” You see it happen when you go mysteriously no contact or date other women to create competition and jealousy. While I personally believe cheating is wrong, the example is often, even more, crystal clear when that happens.
If you want to get technical about it, then think in terms of business. You’re creating demand, scarcity, and value. Nobody likes to be told, “you can’t have this, but they can.”
If You Want to Change, Do it for Yourself, Not Just to Attract Her
If you don’t brush your teeth and that’s the reason she friend-zoned you, well, then you should probably just start brushing your d-mn teeth.
There are a lot of small turn offs, most of which can easily be corrected.
When it comes to things like going to the gym, dressing well, being more successful, etc. do that because that’s what you want to do. You can’t build up your emotional bank account nor self-esteem in life by being someone you don’t actually believe in. If you wish to be a high-performance person in life, the only approval you need is your own. A woman who isn’t attracted to you shouldn’t be your sole and only reason for changing.
Remember, we change for two reasons: Desperation or inspiration.
Even the all-time greats and Elon Musk’s of this world get divorced.
Why She’s Just Not Into You Romantically
The truth is all women are different. While they are technically all females, each and every single one has their own personal opinions, interests, tastes in men, and so on.
Some women are absolutely captivated by men with blonde hair and smaller builds. Others may find the same type of a guy a total turn off. Perhaps you resemble their brother or look like a co-worker who they cannot stand. There are all sorts of reasons, countless in fact, that can hinder your ability to attract a woman. Some of which you cannot physically change!
As I said before, life is a numbers game. If you roll the dice and embrace risk, you will almost always find what you’re looking for. In this case, a woman who’s actually attracted to you.
Life comes with a lot of failures attached to it. That’s just how we grow as better men over the course of time. Understand that the road to success is always filled up speed bumps; being friend-zoned is one of them. That doesn’t mean you should just quit or give up when you encounter a challenge.
Instead, it means you that shouldn’t be afraid to step on your dick, make mistakes, and learn from them. Success is only awarded to those who have the willpower to push on forward.
Don’t get caught or stuck in the friend zone trap forever. You might be comfortable being her friend, but are you triumphal with the outcome? So what if you’ve invested time into her. We all make bad investments in life, and not everything pans out the way we want it to.
If you are searching for love, the only way you’re going to find it is by just f-cking doing it. Putting effort into a single woman who doesn’t love you back, is not doing it, it’s just settling for nothing. Because romantically speaking, nothing even exists!
Understanding HER Point of View
Sometimes it helps to get a better grasp on her point of view. It starts with a boy meeting a cute girl. Boy and cute girl hang out. She enjoys the conversation, has a few laughs, and you start thinking, “Wow, she must really be into me.” Well, time goes on and you remain friends.
You get fed up just being friends, so you take the leap and confess your feelings, but she responds with, “I think we should just be friends.” Like a slap in the face. Do you bow your head and accept the defeat? Or do you consider what she may be thinking to get a few answers to the age-old question –why am I stuck in the friend zone?
Maybe She Just Isn’t Into You. It really isn’t your fault or even hers for that matter. Everyone has their own preferences, and maybe you just didn’t tick enough of those boxes for her. The second scenario could be that you are and have been doing something wrong. If this is the case, there are ways you can try to change her mind. One of those is by accepting the situation instead of getting on your knees to beg for her to change her mind.
Next, focus on self-improvement. The more confidence you have in yourself, the more she will see it radiating from you, and it may capture her interest. Finally, go ahead and compliment her and flirt. However, be careful not to tease her or mention her age or weight – definitely a soft spot you don’t want to hit.
Leveraging the Friendship
If all of your efforts end up failing and you still don’t want to move on, then you are going to have to learn to accept the friendship and the relationship for what it is. Try to push aside any romantic feelings you may have for her and make it your own choice just to be friends instead of allowing it all to be her decision.
Dealing with Disappointment
If rejected, you also need to learn how to deal with the disappointment of not getting what you want. You have made your feelings known. They were not reciprocated; it is time to move on. Cut your losses. Smile knowing it really isn’t the end of the world or even your friendship – if you so choose.
To take your rejection more gracefully, you need to be able to take no for an answer. Hopefully, she will feel bad about turning you down, so you aren’t the only one feeling crappy about the whole situation. If you need some support, turn to your other friends. Spend time with your family and other friends, and let it be a welcomed distraction while also putting everything into perspective.
Ultimately, if you really want to know how to get out of the friend zone, I’ll tell you one way that works every single time. Even if you disregard everything I mentioned above, it is still guaranteed to work!
Are you ready? Move the f-ck on. It’s something the majority of you don’t want to hear, and yet, it’s the truth. I can sense the tears streaming down from the faces of the men who read this right now. Have some balls, grow a backbone, and don’t be such a wimp!
If you are unable to that, you have one other option left: Tackle the “pain and stress” of being friend-zoned head-on. In other words, actually do something about it! Take the initiative to get an answer so that you can make an immediate decision or change the situation through teasing and touch and see what happens.
When you’re faced with that risk, trust your gut first and foremost; it will tell you everything you need to do. In the end, the attraction is either there or it isn’t.
Don’t focus on things you cannot change.
You can chase and chase women with the hopes of winning them over, or you can see what it’s like to have women start chasing you. Having females as friends isn’t even the issue here. That’s totally fine for any guy to have. The problem is expecting love from someone who doesn’t even love you back in any way, shape, or form romantically. You can’t just force attraction.
If you think there are some suave, ultra-sexy methods out there to seduce any woman who has friend-zoned you, then you’re fooling yourself. If being friend-zoned is a problem for you, then you have other, more important things to worry about first, like your emotional bank account in life.
I can assure you that you won’t have enough self-esteem to believe in them, let alone actually pull them off. Words and actions require something called confidence; it’s built up over the years, not over a few seconds!