Can Friends With Benefits Turn Into Love? Signs to Look For

Do guys fall in love with friends with benefits (FWB)? This is not an easy question to answer, but yes they can. When this does happen it often makes things very complicated and doesn’t always end well. For most men, a FWB relationship is the dream. It allows you to hang out with a female friend and have sex without having to worry about all the other responsibilities that come along with being in a relationship. But this doesn’t mean feelings can’t get involved.

Just like women, men are also emotional creatures. While we might not display our feelings or talk about them as often as we should, we blokes are still capable of falling in love. When this happens with a FWB it can turn into quite a sticky situation, especially if the other person doesn’t feel the same. 

What Is a Friends With Benefits Relationship?

In simplest terms, it is a relationship between two consenting adults who engage in sex without fear of hurting the other. Further detail is provided by Urban Dictionary that states FWB is, “two friends who trust each other enough to engage in sexual activity without fear of hurting the other’s feelings. The ideal scenario for folk who are not interested in a serious relationship, or who do not have time for one. Not a boyfriend or girlfriend; neither party has to refrain from dating other people. Also not a word tool for a player to have sex with women he does not care about. A smart alternative to random hook-ups.”

On paper, it seems pretty straightforward–it is a no-strings-attached arrangement. It means you can consistently hook up with the same person and have sexy times without having to worry about catching feelings. But with any type of relationship where sex is involved, eventually one of the two will begin to feel something more. It is inevitable. 

Do Guys Fall In Love With Friends With Benefits?

This is a pretty broad question, but yes, they can. Like any romantic relationship, when you continually see someone and spend time with them it is only natural that you will start to have feelings for them. For men, sex is a way of connecting with someone and showing they care. While most men are able to separate sex from emotions, it is not always the case. Men also like to hide their true feelings and may not come forward with their feelings in case they are worried about how their FWB will react. 

When things first start it can be fun and exciting. You will both enjoy getting to know each other and exploring each other’s bodies. But as the weeks turn into months, it is more probable that you will begin to have feelings for your FWB. Now there is nothing wrong with but it could complicate things. If she doesn’t feel the same then your FWB relationship might need rethinking. 

How Do You Know If They Feel the Same?

The easiest way is to ask them. Who would have thought, right? Communicating how you feel is an important part of any relationship, even one with no strings attached. If you start to fall for your FWB then you need to tell them. It will do you no good continuing without telling her as your feelings will only intensify until they come to the surface at the wrong time. Imagine telling her you love her during sex? Probably not a good idea. 

If you are worried t what she will say, there are a few signs you can pick up on. If she is seeing other people then she probably doesn’t feel the same. While she is unlikely to tell you flat out that she is sleeping with other people or dating (unless you really do have great communication), if she is evasive when it comes to talking about dating or what she is doing on the weekend, she could be seeing someone else. Or maybe you are trying to see her more often and she keeps blowing you or after sex, she gets dressed and leaves almost immediately. These signs signal she is purely in it for the sex, so it might be best to call this one quits before you fall head over hells any deeper. 

How To Keep It Strictly FWB

While you can fall in love with someone you are hooking up with on the regular, if you don’t want that happening, your best bet is to keep things strictly sexual. Don’t start going on dates or hanging out after the deed is done. Get in and get out as quickly as possible. Now obviously you should be doing this in a consenting and respectful way, and be sure your FWB is happy with these terms of the arrangement. You both need to be on the same page to make it work successfully. 

Signs You Are Falling In Love With Your Friend With Benefits

Love is one hell of a drug and once you have had a taste it is hard to ignore. When it comes to a FWB arrangement, love can really put a spanner in the works. But how do you know you are falling in love? It isn’t always that obvious for guys to tell. Often we are hooking up with someone and then the next thing you know it is six months down the track and the two of you are moving in together. It can happen in the blink of an eye. But if you are in a FWB situation and it has been a few months and you’re not sure how you’re feeling, these are the signs suggesting you might be in deeper than you first imagined. 

1. You Find Yourself Thinking About Her All the Time

When you are in a FWB situation you are probably only catching up every couple of weeks, or maybe just on weekends after a big night on the town. If this is the case she probably doesn’t cross your mind that often until you are sorting out when to meet or get horny. If you find that you are beginning to think about her more and more each day then there is a good chance you are catching feelings. There isn’t much you can do about this. If you are falling for her you are falling for her. Either let her know the situation or find yourself another FWB.

2. You Hang Around After Sex

The main purpose of a FWB relationship is having consenting sex with someone that doesn’t involve feelings. The ideal scenario is you go to her place or vice versa, have some small talk, get down to business then leave. But if you find yourself hanging around after sex and chatting then you might be more interested in her than you first thought. Now you are probably going to have a bit of a chat once you finish, but if this small talk turns into an hour-long deep and meaningful, you might need to readdress the current situation.  

3. You Ask To Hang Out Away From the Bedroom

Unless you are an exhibitionist, your sexual activity with your FWB probably occurs in the bedroom, or at least your home. Asking her to hang out when sex isn’t on the table is a sure sign she has captured your heart. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are asking her on a date. While movies and dinner certainly show your true intentions, even if you just head to the pub for a beer or to the park for a walk, you are showing interest in your FWB relationship developing into something more serious.

As dating coach Connell Barrett told Elite Daily, when you start “pushing for activities that committed couples engage in: wine-and-dine dates, weekend getaways, getting together with friends,” then this is a sign you are looking to turn something fun and casual into a serious relationship.

If your FWB is also keen on hanging out in a non-sexual way, then it is also a sign that she might feel the same way about taking your relationship to the next level. So talk with her and see how she feels so you are both on the same page. Love could be in the air! 

4. You Introduce Her To Your Freinds

Once she has met your friends then the situation is starting to change. Your mates are your true ride-or-die types. The people you can trust your life with and can tell anything. The ones that are there for you through thick and thin. If you bring her into that equation it means you trust her and care for her enough to meet them. You are also looking for your friend’s approval, which is a sign of her being girlfriend material. 

When in a FWB type deal most men will keep that part of their life separate from their friends and family as they don’t see it as serious. So if you find yourself bringing her to a family function or a friend’s birthday, the dynamic of the relationship has certainly shifted. 

5. You Buy Her Gifts

Giving gifts is a massive sign you are keen on more than just a romp in the sack. A friend with benefits relationship is all about sex. You shouldn’t be spending much time together, certainly not enough to buy her a gift. It doesn’t matter if it is something small or the most expensive thing you have ever brought for a woman, gift-giving is a big no-no in a FWB situation. Even if it is her birthday you are under no obligation to get her a gift.

As men can be emotionally stunted, buying gifts is often a way we show how we care. So buying her something, anything really, signals your intentions are more than just being friends. 

6. You Get Jealous

Depending on the type of FWB situation you have, you might both be open about whether you are seeing other people. You or she can have as many sexual partners as you please, as long as you use protection and everyone is aware of the situation. If you discover she is seeing someone else and this makes you jealous, sorry to say your feelings are developing. It is worse if she is only talking about her male friends or co-workers. If this gets you jealous then it is time to step back and reevaluate what you want from this relationship.

There is nothing wrong with being jealous unless you let it take control and override your other emotions. People prone to jealousy are often easily angered and can become manipulative and possessive. If you find yourself exhibiting any of these traits then not only should you end the relationship but also seek some professional help. Although jealousy can be good in a relationship, it is a fine line between constructive and destructive. 

7. You Are More Feely Touchy Than Usual

Of course, you are going to have body contact when you are together, but if this continues after sex you are more than likely keen for something deeper. While a cuddle is fine (although not necessary as you are FWB), if you linger any longer than 5-10 minutes after the deed she will know something is up. The same goes for if you start touching her in non-sexual ways. Maybe you are holding hands or hugging. 

This can also manifest in the way you find yourself looking at her. If you can’t keep looking at her and find yourself getting lost in her eyes, your feelings are coming to the fore and you have to make a decision about whether to pursue them. 

8. You Ask Her About Her Love Life

It doesn’t get much clearer than this. If you are actively asking her about how her dating life is going and if she is seeing anyone else, it won’t take her long to figure out you are keen. Now she might not necessarily tell you, depending on how open you both are. She could keep quiet about her dating as she doesn’t want that to come between your current FWB relationship, or she is the total opposite and happy to spill the beans. Whatever it is, if you start asking these questions you have to be prepared for the answers. She might be seeing multiple guys or has found someone she really connects with. Whatever the case you have to be ready to handle that information and not fly off the handle in anger. Remember, you agreed to a FWB relationship too. 

9. You Are Calling Her And Texting Her Frequently

Most FWB situations revolve around one person hitting the other up and seeing if they want to ‘catch up’ later that night. There isn’t much chit-chat once the time and place is agreed upon. Those who are falling for their FWB will find themselves texting and calling much more often. As mentioned previously, if you are thinking about her more, you will want to be in contact with her more often and find yourself texting her to say he and she how she is going without any expectation of sex. 

10. You Don’t Always Have Sex

If you find yourself going around to her place for a bit of nookie but end up talking for hours on end, then this is a sign that you both want to more than just FWB. Usually, there is a bit of chat before the deed is done and maybe after, but if it doesn’t seem to be leading towards sex then feelings are becoming involved. 

Final Thoughts

Friends with benefits is usually the dream relationship for most men, but as you can see, it can easily turn into something much more. You can easily fall in love with your FWB partner. If you do begin to have feelings for your FWB, you need to tell them as soon as you can and see if they feel the same. There is no point carrying on and torturing yourself if she doesn’t want anything more from the relationship. Just remember that when you enter a FWB situation there is always the chance one of you will catch feelings, and if this is the case, be sure to be open and honest so nobody gets hurt in the long run.