How to Start a Tinder Conversation: The Ultimate Guide
Tinder is a networking online dating platform that allows users to connect with other persons of interest. You can like profiles, dislike photos, and get matched with other users while exchanging messages. The brief introduction above is for readers who may not be familiar with the Tinder platform, and if you are familiar with how it works, let us dive right into the main content.
So just like every other online platform, there are specific rules and etiquette guiding communication. Some of the rules are from the venues themselves (for example, no vulgar language), and some of the regulations are self-imposed because you should know how best to communicate on such media.
However, the conversation itself is not the problem as the challenge is in starting the chat. We will handle that challenge with this ultimate guide on how to start a conversation on Tinder. If you are not familiar with Tinder and need ideas on where to meet women, you’ve got to check out NextLuxury’s Guide on the 29 best places to meet women.
In this guide, you will unearth the most effective communication starter techniques to achieve this process, such that the next time you are on the platform, you will know what to say to keep the conversation going.
See more about - The 10 Best Dating Apps for Men in 2021
See more about - The 10 Best Dating Apps for Men in 2021
1. Review the Profile Thoroughly Before Starting the Conversation
First, you must review your match’s Tinder Profile: don’t start a conversation without getting an idea of the match’s personality. This step will only take 10-20 seconds, and it entails observing the match’s bio.
We will talk about the bio in another step to show you how to include details from that section in your message. But first, consider the profile to get a feel about who this person is and how you both can relate.
You can tell if you will strike a good connection with a match on Tinder just by looking at the profile. For example, if someone lists four out of five things you don’t like or does not relate to, you might not have anything in common.
On the flip side, if the person has more in common with you, then you can get ready for an exciting time because it means there will be lots to talk about while chatting online. However, there is a caveat: some people do not reveal all the crucial details on their bio. You will decide if you want to go ahead and know them with the little knowledge you have or if you don’t want to (is your choice) with such peculiar cases.
Please do not skip the profile assessment phase because it will provide more details about your match, which will help you get the best of the chat.
What do you seek? Start with fundamental interests, what she likes, some people include dislikes, and you should also search for experiences. Match your interest with what you see and get ready for a productive conversation.
2. Make the First Move
To get things right with your Tinder conversation, you must make the first move. The first move entails sending the message and using all the ideas you will gain in this guide to your advantage. You cannot get the best of Tinder by merely swiping and scrolling through profiles hoping that someone reaches out to you first.
Taking the first step helps you write your message, and this is crucial because the more you do this, the better you become. Now you’ve got a match on Tinder, send that message, and stop contemplating if they will respond.
This step is one of the simplest you will find on this guide: although it is straightforward, it is also imperative. Everything else you learn hinges on your ability to use this step because if you don’t make that first move, you wouldn’t have the authentic Tinder experience.
3. Start With an Honest Compliment (Evoke Emotion)
You can start a conversation successfully on Tinder with an honest compliment. Pick something nice you have observed about them and make it the starting point of your discussion because this will evoke your match’s emotions.
You will catch her attention and receive interesting replies with a banter-filled chat if your Tinder interactions start with an honest compliment that evokes emotions. Evoking emotions through compliments will make her feel excited at the prospect of chatting with someone fun.
Make your Tinder match feel happy by saying something funny and make honest comments that get her comfortable with you on the chat. You can make your match on Tinder feel an array of emotions just with your initial conversation.
As much as compliments are essential, it is more crucial for them to be honest. Some men mess up their Tinder conversations by being overly flirty with exaggerations that are not realistic. For example, telling a woman she is so beautiful that you don’t think you will ever find anyone else as beautiful as she is not entirely true.
That statement sounds untrue, and she will immediately put a red flag by your name as a man who is being unreal. Honesty, a bit of flirty language and words that evoke emotions, will help you make a great first impression on Tinder.
4. Use Her Name When Sending Messages as the Conversation Unfolds
Have you ever discussed with someone the first time and noticed that he/she didn’t recall your name even when you repeated it again and again? Isn’t it just the most annoying experience ever? Well, you haven’t met these people on Tinder physically, but you do have their details on their profile, so what’s stopping you from using their name?
Using a person’s name to address her is very endearing, and if you consistently do this on Tinder, you will only get the best experiences. Start your message with “Hey Julie, hi Debbie or Hello Stella” because these are real people with new names!
Ignoring their names is like wanting to connect with them without knowing WHO they are: it’s like buying a pet and trying to love him without giving it a name, so you go about saying, “Dog, my dog, here’s my dog” without a name. How can you say you love the dog without even taking the time to give it a name?
Back to Tinder, how can you say you have a match and want to enjoy the thrill of that experience without addressing the lady by her name? Imagine if someone hit you up with a chat and after the first two lines still fail to address you with your name? Unless you don’t care about people using your name online, you will be bothered about it.
But this is not about you: this is about a generally accepted rule, and on Tinder, you will make an excellent first impression if you used her name when chatting for the first time.
5. Use Hints on the Bio for Talking Points
One of Tinder platforms’ most notable features is the bio aspect, which provides insight into the person’s personality. This feature on Tinder is handy when considering how to send your first message, so use it wisely.
When you observe a person’s bio, look out for those tiny details that give away information about them, which can be incorporated into your first message. When a person reads a chat with such information, it speaks of your intentionality and consideration for their interests, which means you are someone to have in their corner.
For example, if you look at Jill’s profile, you will see her profile picture first, but don’t look at it passively as it can tell you about her. Is she sitting out in nature? Did she take the photo while hiking? If the picture reflects her hiking, then it means she enjoys the outdoors.
Do you think she has a lovely smiling (if she is smiling)? Does she look like a delightful person? Please take note of these details because they will come in handy when writing your first comment. Next, look at the details below the image, you will find her name and age but then look further down.
Below the photo, name, and age, you will find more details about her, such as her likes and interests. While some bios are short, others are longer, but you can get personalized information regardless of the length. So, let’s say Jill writes:
Meeting New People
From her interests above, you have an idea of what she likes, and you can use the information to craft a special message that gets her attention. Take note of the keywords and how she itemized them with Travelling and Las Vegas at the top so you can start the chat with something on traveling. Your message will stand out when it contains details from her bio.
6. Don’t Recycle Tinder Messages
This step is connected to the previous one (using hints from the bio) as it helps you personalize your message. No one wants to receive a “Hey” sent to twenty ladies simultaneously, and if you can prove this from your opening statement, you will do well on Tinder.
You’ve got to show that you are paying attention to her from the first message: show that you know what you want and that she is a first choice (not an afterthought).
Copying and pasting introductory messages are common online (you’ve got to admit it saves time), but if you are on Tinder to find a match, you need to curb sending generalized messages. Generalized messages are recycled thoughts distributed and redistributed on Tinder such that someone can look at your message and feel like “I have read this somewhere before.”
That feeling of “Reading this before” will prompt the recipient to ignore your messages. Put some thought and intentionality into your first Tinder messages like you would discuss with the person facially. Sometimes people become lazy with Tinder chart and copy and paste because they don’t feel motivated; they take the easy route (copy and paste).
Here are some of the most used Tinder opening lines you should altogether avoid (please try not to recycle them).
“Something’s wrong with my eyes; I can’t take them off you” (come on, really?)
“I’ve lost my number, can I have yours” (no, you can’t)
“Do you like cheese? Because I’m an easy single” (Okay, this is funny but unimpressive)
“Hey, what’s a girl like you doing on an app like this?” (what are you also doing here?)
“If I could rearrange the alphabets, I’d put U and I together” (no, you can’t do that, which is boring)
Always prove that your messages are not sent generally to everyone, and you will do well with Tinder
7. Don’t Bombard with Messages
Don’t start your Tinder conversation with multiple messages simultaneously (this is not the way to go on Tinder). Yes, you probably want to get the other person’s attention because you already like the person’s profile, but if you think about it, bombarding the person with messages will be a major turn off.
So instead of doing that, here’s what you can do: send an introductory message (as mentioned earlier) and let the conversation take its course from there. If you like the person and don’t respond sooner, you might panic, worry and start sending multiple “Hi’s,” “Hello’s,” etc.
However, if the person comes online and sees such messages from a “Stranger,” she might not be keen on replying to your messages. The goal with Tinder is to connect, to form a bond, and to build something worthwhile with someone else. But the way you start this process matters, and this explains the importance of this guide.
If you start typing and bombarding the person with excessive messages, hold off with the typing and chill by chatting with other people. Over time, you will begin to get adorable Tinder responses, and your experiences will be much more fun because people are responding to you positively.
Let’s agree on this idea from this moment: no message bombardment, and you will do just fine on Tinder!
8. Review Your Messages for Spelling Errors and Slight Mistakes
We need to reemphasize and stress the importance of this idea because while it may seem like a minimal detail in this age of technological chat methods, it remains essential. Consistent chat mistakes like spelling errors turn some women off, and you cannot initiate a chat with wrong sentences.
Let’s consider this example and please be objective in your assessment, consider both opening statements below:
(A)”Hey there, my name is Derek Chavin, and it’s great to connect with you on here.
(B)”Helo, wat’s up? redy to chat
If two different people send you these messages, who would you respond to first? Of course, you will respond to the first person because a person’s words tell you more about them before anything else.
This simple example depicts why you must ensure that your initial sentences are error and spelling mistakes-free because this is an online site, and there are no second chances for a first impression. Before sending your messages, proof-read them, and assume you are sending the message to yourself.
Are you impressed by your messages? Are you impressed by the way you communicated your thoughts? If you are impressed, go right ahead and send the message. You will get positive replies if you send well-written messages.
9. Before Asking for a Follow-Up Chat or a Meet-Up in Person, Be Sure You are on the Same Page
Finally, before asking for a follow-up chat or an opportunity to meet, please make sure the person is also on the same page with you. Now Tinder can be fascinating; as such, it is easy for you to send an invite or reach out to someone else, but you must be sure if you will stand a chance.
Now, this move is significant because you might chat with so many people simultaneously, and if you keep getting rejected, it will affect your confidence level. For example, let us assume you talked with Erica and quickly asked for a meet up when she wasn’t ready for it.
Erica says no, and you feel hurt by it, then you reach out to Julie, and suddenly, even though Julie seems interested by liking your profile, you cannot get the first words out because Erica’s rejection still hurts you.
Can you see how this idea of being careful before asking for a meet up is essential? Tinder can be fun, but if you don’t manage the situation correctly, you might be like many others who delete their Tinder profile in frustration.
Additionally, please read this guide on how to ask a girl out on a date for additional information.
Tinder just became a lot of fun for you as once you know how to start the conversation, it gets better from there. If you have always felt like Tinder was a huge challenge, you know better, so get right into the mix and enjoy the process.