18 Subtle Signs She Wants To End the Relationship

Men are generally easy to please creatures, but one thing we aren’t good at is reading the signs when things aren’t going well. We take things at face value, especially when it comes to relationships. If you see your girlfriend looking generally happy and she isn’t complaining about you leaving the toilet seat up again for the thousandth time, you probably think things are going swell. But sadly this isn’t always the case. Just because she isn’t arguing with you about the finances or spilling her guts about how she feels doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and lollipops. While women are generally pretty straightforward, when it comes to relationships this is not always the case. Sometimes she wants to end the relationship but won’t actually come out and say that. This makes it really difficult to know what is going on.

Of course, there are obvious signs that this might be the case. If she is constantly in a grumpy mood or has a scowl on her face all the time, you know trouble is brewing. But there might be a plethora of other, more subtle signs, that you are not picking up because you are oblivious to things going bad. That’s where we step in. To help you navigate your relationship and understand when things are breaking bad, here are 18 signs she wants out. 

1. Communication Breakdown

No, not the Led Zeppelin song (although it is a belter). When communication breaks down between you and your partner it is a big warning sign that things aren’t going smoothly. If your partner outright stops talking to you there is an obvious problem, but a breakdown in communication can include subtle suggestions like your partner seemingly not listening to what you are saying or giving you short, curt answers to your questions. This also extends to texts. If your partner always sends you a good morning text and then these stop, this is a sign she might not be as keen on you as she once was. If this starts happening it might be time to have a serious chat with her about where the relationship is headed and whether she is still wanting the same things. 

2. You Are No Longer a Priority

When you are in a relationship that person becomes the central figure in your life. They are the first person you think about when you wake up and the last person you think about when you go to bed. If you have news, be it good or bad, they are the person you want to tell. They are the person you want to spend all your time with. If your girlfriend slowly starts to become less available and isn’t prioritizing you in the relationship, she probably wants out. 

“When a person stops having the time or desire to be with you, then you know that your relationship is on life support system and that you might just have to be the one who has the guts to pull the plug,” relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships, told Bustle.

If she starts making excuses as to why she cant’ catch up and you feel you aren’t a major part of her life, she is most likely trying to tell you she wants out. 

3. She Is Not Present

You can be hanging out together and seemingly having fun, but your partner might not actually be present. Yes, she is there with you, but her mind is a million miles away thinking about other things. Most likely how she can dump you without hurting your feelings. You will find that she is less engaging and not really taking in what you say when she is not present in the relationship. This also impacts the emotional side of things. Physical touch will be less than usual and the sex will stop being as consistent. She will also be less inclined to want to hang out and do things.

4. She Is Pulling Away

This can be done in many ways. She might begin canceling plans or engaging in conversation less about your future together. The texts could become few and far between or maybe the sex has suddenly dried up. There are dozens of little signs that show she is pulling away from you and wishing things to end. If it feels like things are fizzling out, they probably are. This is similar to being ghosted except that instead of your partner disappearing completely, they slowly fade out of your life. It isn’t a great way to handle the end of a relationship but it can happen and is something to look out for. 

5. She Keeps Talking About Your Future

Usually, this is a good thing, but it is the way she talks about your future. If she is wanting to know your thoughts on marriage and having kids and planning your future together, fantastic. But if she starts questioning your relationship and whether you are meant to be then the alarm bells will begin ringing. 

Everyone has doubts in a relationship, but if she is expressing these feelings more than usual she could be warning you of what is to come. The best way to nip this in the bud is to talk to her about it and find out if she is genuinely concerned or just saying these things as a way for the relationship to end. 

6. She Has Stopped Asking How Your Day Was

This is a really subtle hint that she is no longer 100% in the relationship. It is only natural for couples to ask each other how their day went. This could be when you get home from work and first see each other, or if you aren’t living together, via text message or a phone call. It is not only a way to start a conversation, but just polite. If your lady is less frequent when it comes to talking about your day then she doesn’t really care enough to want the relationship to work. 

“If all of the sudden the person you are in a relationship with stops caring about what’s going on at your work, or things that you enjoy doing, then a flag might be raised,” Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night founder Rob Alex told Bustle. You need to show an interest in each other’s lives if you want the partnership to thrive. 

“Interest in each other is one thing that makes relationships special, and when a person stops taking interest in what you are doing and stops sharing what they are doing, the relationship could be headed south,” Alex added.

7. She Doesn’t Care What You Do

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Relationships are all about compromise. She will let you have a boy’s night out one weekend as long as you stay home and look after the kids the next. Or maybe you have a poker night organized and the trade-off is you will go to the ballet with her. Whatever the case, when you are in a loving relationship with someone you have no problem making small sacrifices to keep them happy. If you find your partner isn’t really fussed about you spending all night out with the lads or missing dinner because you went to the local football game, you might have some bigger issues to deal with.

A lack of care demonstrates her position in the relationship. She is not as invested as she once was. If she isn’t showing as much interest in you or what you are doing, then where do her interests really lie? Is there something else keeping her occupied? If this is happening it is time to sit down and find out what the deal is. 

8. No More Dates

The weekend is the time many of us take out significant other out and about. Be it dinner and a movie or a local bar crawl. Whatever you decide to do, the weekend is generally the easiest time to spend with your partner. If you find the weekend comes and goes and you haven’t hung out, you might need to ask yourself what is going on. If this begins to become a regular occurrence and your catch-ups end up being more of a Netflix and chill vibe, there is a good chance she isn’t as keen as she once was.

9. Group Dates

If she keeps getting other couples to join you on your dates this is a big sign she wants to end the relationship. Think about it; she would rather hang out with your friends and other couples than you. That is not a good feeling to have. If you can’t seem to tie her down for a one on one date, you are slowly being pushed away and need to speak up and let her know how you feel. Group dates can be fun, but not at the expense of your relationship. 

10. She Has Stopped Posting Photos of You on Social Media

This is a dead giveaway. While we don’t want to generalize, most women who have social media and a partner enjoy posting pictures of their boo. This doesn’t mean they flood their socials with lovey-dovey pics, but you can expect to feature here and there. The problem arises when she stops posting photos of you altogether. Say you both attended a birthday together. Your partner posts a heap of photos from the vent, but not one featuring you. This is a sign she is slowly cropping you out of her life and the end could be near. 

11. There Are More Arguments

Every couple argues, but these will increase when things aren’t going well. If she isn’t as interested in you she will have less patience and won’t put up with your shit. She will want things to go her way and is more likely to argue with you about even the smallest thing. There is also the flip side of this where she can’t be bothered arguing anymore as she just doesn’t care. This can make it a little tricky to know what is going on. Put simply, if you are arguing more or she is giving in much too easily, there is likely something up and you need to chat with her about how she feels about the relationship. 

12. She Starts Getting Defensive

We all get defensive at times, especially if we are being accused of something we didn’t do, but this can be exasperated by a partner who isn’t committed to the relationship. She will feel like you are personally attacking her, especially if you start to ask questions about how she feels or why she isn’t being as talkative as before. Normally she would be willing to work on communicating but if she won’t have a bar of it and just shuts you down, she isn’t really wanting things to progress much further. 

13. No More Deep And Meaningful

One of the great things about being in a healthy and loving relationship is you can tell your partner anything. You don’t have to worry about being judged or shamed, as you know they love you and will listen to what you have to say. This creates a deeper connection between you both and allows you to work through any problems you have in a safe space. When this trust erodes it is a sign your relationship is heading in the wrong direction. If your partner stops sharing her feelings or doesn’t seem interested in what you say, the relationship is heading downhill fast.

14. The Sex is Non-Existent

Your sex life will go through ups and downs, but if she suddenly starts getting a headache every night, something isn’t right. Less sex is a symptom of any relationship breakdown. If she has lost interest in you mentally and emotionally, then she isn’t going to feel like having sex with you. And if you do have sex, it probably won’t be that enjoyable and you will quickly be able to tell she isn’t really into it. 

15. You Don’t Feel Appreciate

Remember when she used to compliment you on the way you looked or was always happy to thank you for buying dinner? If this feels like a distant memory she just isn’t that into you. If you don’t feel like she appreciates what you do for her and the relationship, or maybe she takes advantage of your generous nature, it might be time to pull the plug before she does. Not feeling appreciated is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and one you need to change if possible.

16. Canceling Plans Last Minute

This is a big red flag that things are coming to an end. If she starts bailing on plans to catch up regularly she is subtly letting you know she wants out. This is not a great way to go about things, but it does send a clear message that your partner isn’t really as interested in you as you are in them. If a pattern begins to develop with her canceling plans more often than not, it is time to have the chat. 

17. She No Longer Dresses Up

At the start of any relationship, it is only natural that she will dress to impress and this will slowly abate over time. But this becomes a concern when the sexy lingerie gets traded for the old lady underwear every night of the week. It is also a worry when there is a chance to dress up for a night out, she doesn’t wear anything sexy or alluring. You can’t expect her to be whipping out the lacy gear all the time, but if it is a special occasion and it is nowhere to be seen, trouble is on the horizon. 

18. You Feel On Edge

Sometimes we can just sense that things aren’t going well and trouble is on the horizon. If your gut is telling you that something is up, then something is probably up. If you notice some of the signs discussed above it could well be that she wants out. You need to trust your instinct and take the time to chat with your partner about your relationship. This could save a lot of heartache moving forward and even help end the relationship with you both on good terms. 

Final Thoughts

There are many signs she wants to end the relationship that you might not notice. Hopefully, this guide gives you an insight into some of them so you can be prepared for what is to come. If you catch them earlier enough there is a chance you can talk about things and possibly find a way to keep the romance alive, but if that is not the case, it is better to know about it earlier rather than have it drag on for months and end with you both despising each other.