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112 Yo Mama Jokes That Never Get Old
When you’re a kid, insulting your friends is all part of growing up. There was always a variety of ways to pay out your mates, from simple dumb jokes to more sophisticated humor that got people laughing and thinking. But the one type of joke that always got people cracking up and often caused a bit of tension in the playground was yo mama jokes.
These jokes about your friend’s mother can be seen as slightly offensive, but were always said in jest and never meant to be taken seriously. They normally took shots at someone’s mom’s weight, intelligence, or looks. It seems the yo mama (also written as yo momma) joke is still just as popular today as it was during your time in the schoolyard.
As an adult, they seem a little crass and probably wouldn’t go down well if you started using them to insult guests at a dinner party, but for the youth, funny yo mama jokes are still a thing. This classic joke is still doing the rounds so we’ve decided to gather together some of the best yo mama jokes for you below to relive your youth and remember how cruel kids could be. None of these jokes are meant to offend, and although some are a little on the crude side, we hope you find the humor in them.
1. Yo mama so fat, her belt size is the equator.
2. Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
3. Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
4. Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
5. Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
6. Yo mama so fat, when she tried to weigh herself the scales said: “one at a time please.”
7. Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
8. Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
9. Yo mama so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
10. Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
11. Yo mama so fat, she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
12. Yo mama so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
13. Yo mama so fat and ugly, she didn’t need a suit to play Jamba the Hutt in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.
14. Yo mama so fat and old, that when God said “Let there be light,” he was just asking her to move out of the way.
15. Yo mamma so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”
16. Yo mama so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.
17. Yo mama so old, she calls her waterbed the Dead Sea.
18. Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fortnite was fork night.
19. Yo mama so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
20. Yo mama so fat, that when she hauls ass it takes her two trips.
21. Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
22. Yo mama so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
23. Yo mama so stupid, she stared at an orange juice container for two hours because it said “concentrate.”
24. Yo mama so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
25. Yo mama so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: “To be continued.”
26. Yo mama so fat, her official job title is spoon and fork operator.
27. Yo mama so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
28. Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.
29. Yo mama so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she’s known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
30. Yo mama so stupid, when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 911 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.
31. Yo mama so ugly, she stuck her face in cookie dough and made gorilla cookies.
32. Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV I miss three episodes.
33. Yo mama so old, she has a picture of Abraham carved into her yearbook.
34. Yo mama so fat, not even Dora can explore her.
35. Yo mama so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world.
36. Yo mama so ugly, she went into a haunted house and they handed her an application.
37. Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggy bank and said she was saving time.
38. Yo mama so fat, she gets group insurance.
39. Yo mama so old, she helped write the ten commandments.
40. Yo mama so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border.
41. Yo mama so stupid, she thought lightsabers had fewer calories.
42. Yo mama so fat, when she went to KFC and the cashier asked what size bucket she wanted, she said, “The one on the roof!”
43. Yo mama so old, she still owes Moses money.
44. Yo mama so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
45. Yo mama so mean, they don’t give her happy meals at Mcdonald’s.
46. Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
47. Yo mama so dumb, she went to the library to find the social media platform Facebook.
48. Yo mama so fat, she left in high heels and came back in flip flops.
49. Yo mama so old, her driver’s license is written with Roman numerals.
50. Yo mama so lazy, she has a stay-at-home job and still is late to work.
51. Yo mama so fat, she ate a whole Pizza… Hut.
52. Yo mama so fat, when she sat on my iPad she made a flat-screen tv.
53. Yo mama so fat, her car has stretch marks.
54. Yo mama so old, her first car was a chariot.
55. Yo mama so fat, she lays on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water.
56. Yo mama so fat, she’s got her own area code.
57. Yo mama so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.
58. Yo mama so stupid, she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.
59. Yo mama so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
60. Yo mama so lazy, she woke up from a coma and went to sleep.
61. Yo mama house so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
62. Yo mama so dumb, she thought Twitter was social media for birds.
63. Yo mama so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.
64. Yo mama so dumb, when y’all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said “Disneyland left,” so she went home.
65. Yo mama so dumb, she called me to ask for my phone number.
66. Yo mama so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
67. Yo mama so ugly, she made an onion cry.
68. Yo mama so dumb, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
69. Yo mama so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
70. Yo mama so dumb, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted sweet dreams.
71. Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
72. Yo mama so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting “Wait, you forgot the remote.”
73. Yo mama so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
74. Yo mama so fat, she entered the “Hunger Games” and won all 75 of them.
75. Yo mama so big, that there is a time difference between her two buttocks.
76. Yo mama so ugly, people dress up as her for Halloween.
77. Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
78. Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
79. Yo mama so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped her parents.
80. Yo mama so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
81. Yo mama so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
82. Yo mama so poor, when she goes to the park, ducks throw bread at her.
83. Yo mama so fat, when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her.
84. Yo mama so dumb, when she heard about cookies on the Internet, she ate her computer.
85. Yo mama so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
86. Yo mama so dumb, that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team.
87. Yo mama so ugly, she makes blind kids cry.
88. Yo mama so fat, she has front, side, and back boobs.
89. Yo mama so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
90. Yo mama so old, when she was young, rainbows were still black and white.
91. Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, the Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
92. Yo mama so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
93. Yo mama so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
94. Yo mama so stupid, when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.
95. Yo mama so fat, when she orders a fur coat an entire species go extinct.
96. Yo mama so fat, she eats noodles with a forklift.
97. Yo mama so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
98. Yo mama so old, Jurassic Park brings back memories.
99. Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
100. Yo mama so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone.
101. Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
102. Yo mama so ugly, when your dad drops her off for work, he gets a fine for littering.
103. Yo mama so fat, that when she was born the doctors had to give her a pregnancy test.
104. Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
105. Yo mama so dumb, she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.
106. Yo mama so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.
107. Yo mama so stupid, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
108. Yo mama so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they’ve got writer’s block.
109. Yo mama so fat, when she back up she beeps.
110. Yo mama so stupid, she studied for a Covid test.
111. Yo mama so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
112. Yo mama so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
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