How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back
So, you’ve found yourself crushing over someone and wondering if they ever even notice you. You’re thinking “how do I get my crush to like me back if she doesn’t even know my name?” While you can’t make her like you back (sigh), there are things you can do to put yourself in the best possible position to notice you.
The dating game is constantly changing and evolving, but there are a few simple rules that remain the same – and that’s what women look for in a man. A man that has confidence, is a good listener, has ambitions, and takes care of his appearance will never not be attractive. We speak to Elizabeth Overstreet, Relationship Expert and Author, on her top tips for getting your crush to like you back.
1. Confidence Is Like Kryptonite
Women are attracted to confidence. It’s as simple as that. But it does get a little more complicated when you realize it’s not just about looks – confidence is skin deep. It’s not just about being confident with the way that you look, but who you are as a person. “It isn’t always about looks but how comfortable you feel in your own skin,” says Overstreet.
You need to be able to take a compliment like a champ but also have confidence in your career, life goals, or what you have to offer except good looks. “There is nothing sexier than a confident man. Confidence is an instant magnet for attraction,” she says.
You’ve probably noticed that a beautiful woman gets even more beautiful when you learn of their confidence. Or someone you never thought of as attractive is now drawing you in. Someone unafraid to go after what they want, knows their value, and won’t settle for less than they deserve becomes instantly more attractive regardless of what they look like. Women know what they want and they don’t want to be with a man who has no idea what he’s doing.
2. Listen to Them As Much as You Speak to Them
It’s tempting to go all out and try to sell yourself to your crush. You think of everything good about yourself and overload them with information. But before you know it you’ve talked about yourself for hours and come across as a complete narcissist.
“When you are crushing on someone, tune in to who they are,” says Overstreet. “Be present and show an interest in who they are and be inquisitive as you learn more about them.” Take the time to get to know your crush and make sure they’re someone you want to invest in.
We get it, you want them to like you back and how else will they know how much of a great person you are if you don’t tell them the first chance you get, right? But be patient. Even if you did volunteer your ass off last year, dropping it in conversation unprovoked can seem like you only did it to be able to say that you did.
Women respond better to genuine conversations that flow naturally. Finding out that you spent the year volunteering naturally will be more impressive because you did it out of the kindness of your own heart without bragging about it – a truly selfless deed (which is a total turn-on FYI).
3. Show Your Sense of Humor and Inner Awkwardness if That Is Part of Your Personality
This may seem a little unconventional, but “humor and a little bit of self-deprecation can be the best type of ice breaker,” says Overstreet. “It helps to bring down another person’s walls and barriers and makes you seem real.”
It lets your crush know they can be themselves around you, and anyone who makes you feel like you can be yourself is someone you want to be around. Be funny, show your silly side and some of your awkwardness too. You’ll come across as more authentic.
4. Look the Part
Overstreet explains that humans are visual creatures and attraction is the first characteristic we notice. Take care of your appearance. Your crush will know whether you’ve just rolled out of bed or spent a good amount of time getting ready.
If you’re not putting any effort into the way you look she won’t even suspect you’re crushing on her. Men want to impress the women they’re into and they won’t know any better if you’re not following basic human nature.
“It’s important that you put your best assets out there – smile, embrace showing the parts of your body (but not an extreme though) – that you know look good,” she says. “And dress in a way that makes you feel most confident and sexy.”
5. Spend Quality Time with Them
If you haven’t already, ask your crush out! Quality time will allow them to get to know you on a personal level and see you as more than just the mysterious stranger they catch up with at parties. Choose a date activity that you’d both enjoy.
If she doesn’t drink taking her to a bar is the hard way to learn. But don’t worry, we don’t expect you to be a mind reader. Ask them what they like to do in their spare time and add a romantic twist. Be sure to pick an activity you both actually enjoy.
If you’re not having fun she’ll know it. And definitely don’t say you like something when you don’t just to impress her – she’ll know this too and you don’t want to be dishonest before you’ve even been on a first date. Overstreet says that “when you connect with someone, doing things you both enjoy it helps you to build an emotional connection to one another.”
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6. Be Authentic
Being authentic is “often overlooked, but bringing your true self to your crush (if it’s meant to be) should only help to show how truly compatible you both are for one another,” she says. This may seem a little scary to bare your soul but the reward is greater than the risk if things work out.
It also sets the tone for the type of relationship you want going forward. If you’re authentic, you’ll attract a healthy, open, and honest relationship.
You want to show your crush the real you from the very beginning – it’s the only way to know whether you have a shot at a future or not. How can you build a life with someone who doesn’t like you for you? You can’t. So save yourself a potential heartbreak and be authentic.
7. Don’t Stop Living Your Life
Calling off all your life plans for your crush isn’t as flattering as you think it is. It shows co-dependency and puts a huge amount of pressure on them. “When the endorphins are going it’s easy to want to completely pour into another person,” says Overstreet.
It’s new and exciting and you just can’t get enough of them. But give them room to breathe before you accidentally suffocate them and push them away. She recommends taking it easy, going with the flow, and keeping on living your life too. “There is nothing more attractive than someone who has their own interests and aspirations.”
8. Be Honest About Your Feelings
Believe it or not, this is different from asking your crush out on a date. Asking them out shows romantic interest, sure. But it doesn’t tell them how you actually feel about them. There’s no need to start an entire monologue and confess your love for them, just tell your crush what you like about them.
“Reinforcing what draws and attests you to them will allow them to fully lean into who they are which will make them feel more comfortable with you,” she says.
If you want to make a lasting impression, stay away from generic feelings that anyone could feel around them. You want to make it clear that they’re romantic feelings before you end up in the friend zone – not many men make it out alive after this. Instead of saying “I have fun with you,” say “I really enjoy how much fun we have together, you make me laugh like nobody else does.”
9. Initiate Unique Dating Experiences
Don’t be that guy who always asks to go for drinks – think outside of the box. Set yourself apart from every other guy who has ever asked your crush out. “There are a lot of fun things you can do with someone that doesn’t involve spending lots of money but where you can have fun and time getting to know your crush,” says Overstreet.
She suggests visiting a waterfall, having a picnic outside, or going hiking. These are dates that will give you unique insights into your crush. While drinks are fun, how well can you really get to know someone while you’re drinking? Especially if you’re a sloppy drunk with a bad memory (no judgment here).
10. Be Consistent
“Inconsistency is all too familiar in dating these days. Showing something different and that you are different makes you a standout and is appealing to the right crush,” says Overstreet. Inconsistency leads to confusion and you don’t want to leave your crush feeling confused about how you feel.
You should never leave her guessing where she stands. Decide what type of man you want to be and stick to it. Women value consistency, it shows you’re trustworthy and reliable which is sadly hard to come across. But the good news is this works in your favor as she’ll be pleasantly surprised and be swept off her feet. “Show up. Be consistent. Be honest. Be trustworthy,” she says.
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